Co-authored by Neill Gibson.

You may have heard of a book, written by Robert Fulghum, called, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." While the book is both cleverly written and humorous, there are some serious truths beneath the cute exterior. Some of the things he talks about learning in kindergarten include:

Share Play fair Put things back where you found them Clean up your own mess Say you're sorry if you hurt someone.

You might think the lessons above are rather obvious, but at their heart, these are profoundly important understandings. Of course we all learned them at a surface level in kindergarten, but no one told us why acting in these ways is so important--we were never made to understand the values that are embedded within these behaviors.

What would be possible if, in kindergarten, instead of being told, "Nice little girls and boys share things with each other." we were taught these behaviors by being asked questions such as, "Is sharing important to you?" "How does it feel when you share something with other people and they seem so happy?" or "Do you like it when people share things with you?"

Imagine what could happen if we were asked to look inside and recognize how these behaviors enrich our lives? How different would the world be if children were taught what was important about acting in these ways, and how their choices could positively affect their lives as well as everyone around them?

Unfortunately, in our society there is very little attempt to align cultural values embedded within these behaviors with our personal values. We are raised in a culture where these behaviors are taught to us using a system of punishment and reward. You either do it or you will be punished!

From a very young age we are trained to focus our attention on figuring out who is good, who is bad, who is right, who is wrong, and what is appropriate, or inappropriate behavior. "If you don't say you're sorry, you are bad and wrong." "Share everything, play fair, put things back where you found them, clean up your own mess," and on and on it goes.

We are taught that doing these things makes us good little boys and girls. And if you don't do as you're told or do something else instead, you're punished and told that you're bad and wrong.

The concepts we learn in kindergarten, and the methods used to teach them, cause us to interact with one another in very predictable ways. Even as adults, when someone doesn't share, play fair, or put things away, there are consequences. They might be judged as inappropriate or inconsiderate. They could be criticized for not being a good friend, neighbor, brother or daughter. In extreme cases, they may even end up alienated from their community or family.

But there's good news... at any point you can decide to make sure your actions are a reflection of your personal values rather than an attempt to avoid consequences. To do this:

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