Wherever there is misery, there is SELF HATRED, also recognized as SELF-JUDGMENT. Where there is misery, there is always self-judgement. JUDGEMENTS are made up and FACTS are REAL; the two should never be confused.Judgment lies at the core of your depression and REALITY is the CURE.Self-judgments can be described as comprising the following:
=> 1. DICHOTOMIES: Judgments only offer a black and white view of the world, with no subtleties. Things can either be nice/horrid, moral/immoral, or powerful/powerless.
=> 2. COMPARISONS with others or an ideal self: "Compared with her Iím ugly" or "compared with how beautiful I should be, I fall short".
=> 3. AN IDEAL SELF that you "should" measure up to.Ideals are hazardous because they represent pictures of perfection that are unachievable for REAL human beings to reach.As an actual human being, you donít get to select which emotions and experiences you want based on whatís pleasing to you Ė like it or not you get the whole lot, warts and all!
=> 4. THE "SHOULDS"and "musts" of internal dialogue are powerful signs of self-judgment.
=>5. ARBITRARY, VAGUE, GENERAL:The choice of which judgments to adhere to is hit and miss; all are separated from reality and are devoid of specific measurements or criteria.Whatís the purpose of labelling yourself as "doomed to failure", "stupid", "pathetic" or anything else?If we consider how to assess the actual truth of a judgment, might we be able to use a exact measure, like amount of tax paid, to determine if the label ""worthless" actually does apply?You can see for yourself how hollow these statements are..
=> 6. PERVASIVE, REPETITIVE AND SHORTHAND:Self judgments rarely alter over time, 10 years on and we still use the same fast, repetitive, easy to remember phrases that are no more precise now than they were back then.
=> 7. CONSCIOUS & UNCONSCIOUS:Self-judgment is sneaky: sometimes it is recognizable but mostly it is covert.Unfortunately the most powerful and pervasive saboteurs of your mental health are the unconscious forms of self-hatred, which can only be reigned in using competent professional help.
BEWARE! Individuals are slain by self-hatred!This is a synopsis of a recent article in the West Australian Online. It describes how the dangers of self-hatred can bring about a personís death.
Charmaine Dragun, a famous news anchor who suffered from depression for 10 years, died by jumping from a Sydney cliff in 2007. Charmaine was in an extremely competitive industry and she made sure she didnít show any weakness because she could be instantly replaced by a dozen or so other pretty opponents who were begging for her job.She wanted to project an ideal image of strength and proficiency. A bulletin that she judged "the worst ever" was highly praised as wonderful by TV executives.Even though she was actually highly intelligent and eloquent, she judged herself very unkindly. She was certain that she would eventually be fired for being unpopular with her audience and executives.Friends couldnít convince her that in fact she was truly brilliant.She said her occupation was tedious and that she just read words that other people had written.
The unskewed reality is this:
Charmaine Dragun, whose charm lit up a room, was a highly intelligent, stunning and articulate news anchor.Her work was excellent and she was esteemed and admired by many.They wanted her to continue doing well in her role for as long as possible.She had a responsible and professional attitude and was always well-presented|well-groomed|elegant].Her hard work and talent shone above the competition and won her the job.Other people envied her unique gifts and opportunities.Her nearest and dearest will miss her terribly..
People recovering from depression need time, patience, perseverance and commitment.Recovery involves replacing self-hating misperceptions with a deep understanding of whatís true.Only a competent and trusted therapist can help to guide you into a profound embodiment of this knowledge rather than just a superficial, cognitive understanding. To learn more, visit our Henshaw Consulting - Psychologists Perth website where you can get the help you need from an expert Clinical Psychologist Perth.