How can you be happier more of the time, no matter what your circumstances?
How does one person manage to be up and going for it day after day, and others just can't quite get it together? They're always negative. They're always down. They're always grumpy. They're always feeling tired. Why?
Well, it really is a choice more than anything else. Unless there's something physiologically wrong with you, or you're brain damaged, or you are chemically imbalanced, then it's what you're thinking.
You focus on what you can do something about, on the solutions, instead of focusing on what you can't do anything about, or the problems. Happiness really comes from positive self-talk. It's from a positive thinking pattern. It's from giving yourself a primary focus on things you can do something about. It's a choice and you make that choice moment to moment, day to day.
About six months ago, there was a gentleman who was referred to me by his doctor. He was referred to me for severe depression. He was an executive for a major company and he had been laid off. He had not been able to find work for almost a year. Anti-depressants didn't seem to be working, nothing he tried seem to help.
When he came to see me and I was diagnosing what was going on, one of the things that immediately stood out, was that he was continuously focused on the bad. He focused on the fact that he couldn't find interviews. And when he did find the interviews, he felt so desperate to get the job that the interviews were lousy.
He totally forgot to think about all the positive aspects of his life. He had a great relationship with his wife. He had wonderful children who were happy and healthy and they loved school. They liked doing things with the family. His health was superb overall, except he was depressed. He was physically strong and healthy. He was brilliant, he was always learning new things. The guy had a lot going for him. But he forgot about all of that.
He spent all of his time focused on what wasn't working. "I can't find a job. We need money." Desperation. It caused him huge stress and lots of problems.
The first thing I had him do was to begin to focus on what he could do something about, his thinking patterns. And when he began to change his choice of focus, all of a sudden, life began to be a little better. His depression began to lift. His wife said he began to be more like his old self. He began to be more energetic, and he and his children had more fun playing together.
He had an interview set up for a new job. When he was going there, instead of going in depressed and desperate, he had worked on his attitude. He went in thinking, "I might get it, I might not. But, I believe I can make a positive impression on these people. This would be good for me and good for them." He went in with a proactive, powerful mindset. Guess what? They hired him on the spot at more money than he was making prior to getting laid off!
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