I often ask myself the question, can a gay man be Orthodox, and still live as a gay man?

After all, being gay is known as an abomination in the Torah. However, like most things in the Torah, nothing is black and white. Rabbi Hillel said "Do not do unto other what you would not have them do to yourself". So, if straight people can put themselves in my shoes, they probably would realize that they can be orthodox, if they were gay.

The other question to ask, is does the perfect Jew exist?

There is nobody who is without imperfection. Every Jew has some fault. Not that I'm saying that being gay is a fault, because as far as I'm concerned, I have been created as a gay man in the image of God as well. Another consideration is the nature of Torah interpretation - I've read the definition of a Talmudist as a man, or woman, who can prove that black is white, and white is black.

In my past, I gave up Orthodoxy in order to find a life partner, but I was always aware of not following the Orthodox rules, and that awareness quickly turned into discomfort. Luckily, I was blessed with somebody who would tolerate Orthodoxy, and I returned to it.

For me, being Orthodox is a part of my heritage and identity. It requires a great deal of self-discipline, but to me, the rewards are worth it, and one of the many rewards, is a sense of community with people who share the same ideals that I do.

In most cases, it's not very easy for a gay man to find a community which is open and welcome, and I'm very fortunate to have found such a community at my synagogue, Sha'ar Shamayim.

I also find the Jewish traditions are intrinsically valuable in themselves. They're part of what was handed down to me, and just because I can't hand them on to children of my own, doesn't mean that I should give them up.

The problem comes in finding like-minded gay Jews. And that is a problem for every one of us to try and solve for ourselves.