Spare the Rod Spoil the Child

FamilyParenting

  • Author Brian Osterhouse
  • Published September 23, 2010
  • Word count 1,036

I've adapted this post from a friend (who claims to prefer the pseudonym Si Fallor Sum for artistic purposes). The less frenetic portions possessed a measure of sense to me and I have with permission subjected it to my own annotations.

Mad because she didn't get her way, one of my younger daughters threatened to tell her teacher that she was beaten at home. No malice, or awareness of the consequences. Just a little human using everything in her arsenal to satisfy her immediate wants. The new age version of 'I'm running away because I can't stay up past my bedtime.' Si Fallor's spoken with many parents that say they are afraid to discipline their children for worry of such accusations. Though Fallor's many times has been subjected to injustices, one would hope that such charges wouldn't bear out. Allowing for the boy who cried wolf story and establishing parental authority.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him

Remembering that the Lord is our Shepard and that he uses to the crook of his staff to nudge us along the proper path, so to must we follow the example of our Father and correct the missteps of youth.

Perhaps it's an excuse to take the easy road and let the children do what they want. I don't want to say parents don't care. With the vanishing of old social mores, there's a softness developing in parenting. A growing importance of being the friend instead of in charge. The rise of 'party moms' and 'dad'. Arrested for house parties and supply teens with drugs, alcohol, and more.

In the break room a fellow coworker sighs. A warning of some world weariness, a problem she's got to share. "My sixteen year old daughter is dating a twenty four year old. Guess it's time to go put her on birth control."

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Without saying what's right, or what's wrong. Parents have to create a necessary tension. Children will get into stuff adults don't approve of. (Most adults do to.) They will make mistakes, and if properly coached will learn and grow from them. However, enabling is the same thing as condoning. If you don't approve of a behavior make it difficult, not easier. Necessary tension. Raise the bar to jump higher. Lowering standards is a slippery downwards slope.

Though he who was without sin did not throw the first, or any, stone it is important to notice that he did not shirk from rebuking those that required it. Even to the point of clearing the money changers from the temple with a cat o' nine tails.

Mind on these topics, three articles caught Si Fallor Sum's attention this week. Pictures from the Best Car Contest at a local high school. Among the top contenders an 07 Mustang. (the original article is from 2008) Further in, a buried piece expressed continuing puzzlement over why the wealthiest county in the state sees the highest incidence of drug and alcohol abuse in teens. Fallor pins it as suburban ennui. More adventurous Fallor might expound on old tests involving infants. Those exposed to many bauble d mobiles, where unsatisfied when returned to smaller, simpler constructs. Over stimulation and pushing an ever-expanding envelope.

The last story began with the early May deaths of several teens. Alcohol and rowdiness heavily involved. It continued to quote teen accident statistics and causes. The time stamp caught Si Fallor's eye. Crash at 2:30 am. Perhaps if parents required 16 year old's to be home before ridiculous hours of the morning, there'd be less opportunity to get drunk and hurt. Of course, this just leads to talk of nanny laws. A suspension of civil liberties to prevent civil liabilities? Nobody wants to be told how to parent, though they feel some should be. Just like statistically more people believe in censorship than think they personally should be censored. Perhaps there's a cultural impetus that mothers and fathers feel they can't fight against.

The Lord freed Israel from Egypt in forty hours. It took forty years to get the Egypt out of Israel. This is when God gave Moses the laws for the people. God didn't throw up his hand, say 'oh well', and continue blessing and protecting. Consequences are necessary for learning, especially among the stiff-necked. If cars were free and crashes fun, I'd drive much faster more of the time.

Considering this last though I inquired of General Paranoia. Glorification of alcohol, mass media barrage of sex, and parental fear of government intervention. Paranoia claims it's all a conspiracy out of the Cold War. An instituted cultural revolution geared towards anxiety and unbounded breeding. Growing an army in anticipation of having to match ranks against Red China.

Miss Ann Thrope's advice was no less rational. Suggesting that by introducing a sterilizing chemical to alcohol, not only would there be a reduction in teen pregnancy, but a diminishing of the population in general. Thereby reducing the labor pool and fixing the current economic mess. Miss Ann Thrope's been spending too much time with General Paranoia.

Either way there needs to be a change where children grow to understand reasonable boundaries. Otherwise instead of understanding that actions have consequences, they will grow into people that are angry at the consequences of their actions.

On first read the declaration that God would hold the sins of the father over several generations seemed inherently wrong. Seeming to contradict the edict that no man would pay for the sins of another. As a child it chilled me, that I might suffer hell for something done by someone before I was even born. Now I understand the meaning. With each generation that is not reproached for their behavior, the next will grow in the same soil. Unable to amend the evil of their ways out of ignorance and lack of teaching. Children learn what they live.

Proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke,

12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Thoughts on Fellowshipping and God in our Daily Lives. The Word is free. Read it, spread it, Live it.

www.brianknows.com

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