A separation and divorce can be an incredibly difficult time for any family, that's just one of the reasons why keeping the lines of communication open is crucial. The children need to comprehend that they aren't responsible for what is happening. They also need to realize that both parents love them and wish to continue to be a part of their lives. Obviously, this can help kids to deal with the many changes that will take place with a divorce.
It is a good idea for the parents to make the time to sit down with the children to examine the issues of separartion and divorce. A number of mothers and fathers think that it's best to do this with all of the children at one time. Others find it's better to discuss the divorce with each child individually. This is often due to age differences, as well as, the unique personalities of each child.
The responsibility of informing the children regarding the divorce should in no way fall on the shoulders of only one parent. A united front needs to be exhibited from the beginning. The kids will feel far more safe hearing the information and facts from both of their parents rather than just one of them.
The children don't have to know all of the particulars of exactly why the parents are divorcing. For the sake of the children it shouldn't turn into a blame game where each of the parents tries to get the kids to be on their side during the process. Exactly what they do need to know, is that their mom and dad will not be staying together and exactly how that is going to affect them.
Give children time to understand everything that is occurring. Even though they most likely have an idea that things are not going well in the home, they might be stunned by the concept of a divorce. Let them know they can come to you or your spouse with questions that they might have about it.
It can be a good idea to have an additional meeting with both parents and all the kids, or each child one on one a couple of weeks later. That will provide the children some time to cope with their thoughts about the separation and divorce. They may be more ready to talk about it now than they were when you first told them about it.
Be ready to offer your kids more support throughout the divorce process. Some children act out in anger because of it. Others may become withdrawn due to their feelings. It's crucial that their needs are addressed. Way too many dads and moms are too wrapped up in their own feelings over a divorce to provide their kids with the support they need.
More mature kids may possibly press for more information as to exactly why the divorce is taking place. Parents need to have a plan of action as to exactly how they'll handle such questions. If one of the adults has been having an affair you may possibly decide it's very best not to disclose that information to the children.
Parents need to deal with the divorce before the kids are approached. The kids absolutely need to be reassured that they'll be fine through it all. That will not happen if the children get the feeling that their parents are not okay with exactly what is going to be taking place.
Try to share some basic plans with the kids as well. For example, you need to tell them what the living arrangements will be. It's important to inform them when the changes will be occurring. With that knowledge they can begin to prepare for what is ahead of them.
When kids are informed during the process they tend to deal with it much better. They don't feel like they are just being thrown into the middle of what is going on. A divorce is never easy for anyone, especially when kids are involved. Yet divorce can be a process everybody makes it through if you're willing to stop all the fighting and choose to work together to do what's best for you and your children.