When married couples start throwing around the "D word," this means things have already gone from bad to worse. Stopping divorce means first making a commitment to save your relationship. Thereís a reason you two got together in the first place Ė what happened to that? Furthermore, you know couples that still happy together even after 40 or 50 years of marriage, so long lasting happy marriage IS possible. Letís get started right now.
How Do You Communicate?
Lack of communication is the biggest relationship killer in this planet. Without having good communication, your marital life is over and itís as simple as that. But what makes good versus bad communication?
- Any time things go wrong, it is bad to put the blame on your spouse. Itís also bad to wallow in guilt if you are at fault. Rather, when your partner does something bad, forgive and offer them another chance. When you are the one that screwed up, take responsibility for your actions and make a resolve to not doing it again.
- When talking things over, it is bad to be rash and try to correct things. When we are talking to each other about critical things, what we need is a good listener. This means someone who offers empathy and a good ear. What we donít need is suggestions, opinions and solutions.
- Never say "yes" when you mean "no." A marriage is a bond among two people, and the two of them ought to be happy. Be honest about what you hope and need, and never give in when you donít feel itís right.
- Never use silence as a weapon. The cold shoulder doesnít take you anywhere. Should you find it hard to reveal your feelings, try writing them down in a letter. Do anything necessary to let them know how you feel.
How Do You Handle Cheating?
Cheating is another common ground for divorce. A lot of people say that if their spouse cheats, thatís it; itís over. You might never have trust in your partner again. This is easy to say, however, when it truly happens, itís more complicated than that. Itís never so black and white.
When dealing with the real thing, the majority of us make an effort to work it out. Lots of marriages have suffered infidelity and bounced back to be stronger than ever before. A cheater will likely keep telling lies to reduce the damage, but what they must do is lay all the cards on the table.
The reason behind this is that cheating is only a warning sign of a deeper problem. You have to get to that problem and deal with it, otherwise it will happen again. Then, trust must be regained. It requires a lot of time for this to happen, but it can be done if youíre dedicated to it.
We All Change
Marriages lose their spark, their feeling of adventure. Suddenly you become simply just friends or, even worse, partners in running a household. The sex and intimacy disappear, and some people who want a divorce even tell their partners, "I donít love you anymore." This is usually caused by changes in your lives, and your marriage hasnít "improved" to meet these changes.
The majority of people donít realize just how easy it is to get this intimacy back. Not only can you get it back, you can get more of it than you ever had before. Plan some time to spend along together with no interruptions. Go out on dates exactly like you did when you first met. Imagine that youíve got to win your partner once again. This is a guaranteed approach thatís help lots of marriages get their spark back, and keep divorce out of their lives.
Being in a marriage life for years sometimes make us forget that keeping a happy marriage require some efforts. Stopping divorce means you'll have to cut your time and effort on other things and start pouring some of it into your marriage. Handle the problem in the right way and solve it together with your partner; and you'll have stronger and more exciting marriage life than you ever imagine.