Dealing with divorce may be the hardest thing you ever have to face in life. Thereís no point in sugar-coating that fact. No one is asking you to pretend itís an easy process. There will be emotional and possibly financial repercussions that follow. However, you are not powerless in this situation. There are steps you can take to make the experience less painful and more bearable than it would be if you just drifted through it.
Financial and Legal Help
Finding a good divorce lawyer early on is essential to making the process go as smoothly as possible. Depending on your situation and the circumstances leading up to the divorce, there may be a battle over assets or child custody on the way. Itís always better to talk these things through with your spouse reasonably if this is an option Ė but with the stinging pain of divorce still fresh, this often isnít realistic. In the event that the case comes to court, the circumstances of the divorce will be important in deciding how assets and money are split up, as well as who gets custody of the children, so having a good lawyer to put your case forward is critical.
There are activities you can engage in to help you deal with the emotional pain of divorce. Itís important to keep in mind that a lot of the feelings youíre experiencing can be alleviated by changes in your brain chemistry. In particular, you want to engage in activities that help your body produce serotonin and endorphins, the building blocks of happiness.
Exercise is an excellent way to stimulate endorphin release. Starting a regular exercise regime will help you keep your mind off your ex, not to mention helping you lose some of the unwanted pounds that may have collected if you were complacent about your physical shape while you were married. And if you have your heart set on trying to repair the situation with your ex, being in good shape certainly wonít hurt Ė or it can make it easier to find someone new.
Other activities such as yoga and meditation also help to calm the mind and produce positive brain chemicals. Enrolling in meditation or yoga classes are also great ways to meet new people, usually people who are open and accepting, which are the best type of people to be around when you are going through crisis.
Get Out of the House
One of the best things you can do when dealing with divorce is simply to socialize with other people. In the early days you might not feel much like going out and chatting up a storm with strangers Ė thatís fine. But stay close to your friends. Donít take any bitterness left over from your marriage out on other people. If someone wants to help you and support you, be open to that.
Use this as an opportunity to rediscover yourself. Marriage has a tendency to allow us to become complacent about the dreams of our younger days. If you have a passion or a talent that youíve allowed to lay dormant, pick it up again and allow the creativity to flow. Art and expression are a great form of emotional release. If you donít have an old passion, perhaps you have had a secret ambition to try a new hobby but youíve "never has the time" Ė well, now is that time.
Donít be afraid to take time off work too if thatís what you need. Just donít allow yourself to slip into a routine of doing nothing. And whatever you do, donít try dealing with divorce by turning to substances. This will only make things worse. Learning to use yoga and meditation will give you a "natural high" that makes using substances unnecessary.