I was recently asked as a martial arts instructor to participate in various programs sponsored by the ‎local government for single mothers. My contribution was to be a short course in self defense ‎techniques that would enhance and build their self esteem and confidence. I had never given thought to ‎the life that a single mother would find herself in because that situation had never touched my family ‎or friends and after considering the request I was happy to oblige. ‎

As a Chief Instructor and a 4th Dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do I am aware that to reach a level of ‎proficiency in any self defense program takes a lot of time, practice and dedication as achieved by ‎hundreds of my students, a mixture of young and old, both male and female, so what could I offer?.‎

A short course in the use of various parts of the body such as elbows, knees, forehead, heels etc to ‎defend oneself (can you imagine the pain and end result of the heel of a high heel shoe being stomped ‎into the upper part of your own foot) is an effective deterrent for someone physically imposing ‎themselves upon you but would it not be better to have avoided or minimized the opportunity for that ‎to happen. And so in addition to the self defense I encompassed the following for their and your ‎information.‎

Your residence needs to be a safe place for you and your children and I know that door locks and ‎security screens are a deterrent to those who lead a deviant life style, but you can further that security ‎aspect with a visual "stay out without an invitation" by doing the following….‎

‎1. You can give the impression that "a very large man lives here" by obtaining male clothing that you ‎can hang outside on a clothes line. These items can be obtained from second hand shops etc. Obtain ‎the largest you can and just swap them around every few days. A large pair of thongs, sandals or boots ‎left at the front and rear doors is also advisable.‎

‎2. Leave a notice on both doors which could read "Do not disturb…Shift worker." Or something along ‎those lines. Any person with bad intentions looking at or entering your premise is going to have ‎serious second thoughts about what they are doing after reading that sort of information.‎

‎3. Get to know your neighbors and make friends with those of them you can trust, they will also be ‎your eyes and ears and looking after your interests, the more you have in your circle of friends the ‎safer you will be and the more secure you will feel.‎

‎4.When out shopping or socializing don’t park your car in an out of the way area, park as close as you ‎can to activity and where it can be easily seen and always lock your vehicle on exit and after entry. If ‎when you are in your vehicle you notice a sign or paper on your window (front or rear) leave it until ‎you arrive at your next destination, some people have been assaulted and robbed when they have ‎unlocked and gotten out to read the note. Sadly we live in an era where people are not what they seem ‎to be and it is not getting better, people are becoming more desperate and violent as we see in every ‎day news.‎

During the implementation of this course which was enjoyed and received with great enthusiasm I ‎noted that one question most asked by participants was "Because my life is rather reclusive and ‎centered on house, work and children, how can I safely find a partner or socialize?" My answer was ‎always a referral to one of the easiest, practical and informative sources I have read on that subject that ‎can be found at "shoptillyoudropwithgarry" (see resource box) under the section" Dating ". It details where and ‎how to safely find and develop relationships, finding a partner with similar interests, how to read body ‎language and know if your new friend finds you attractive, safety when socializing, various ways to ‎expand your circle of friends and much more.(this is a must have for all searching for the ideal partner) ‎This would answer their question and add so much more to what I was teaching them.‎

The course concluded and I had made many new friends who now have a new level of confidence in ‎themselves and a positive view to adjustments that all are able to make to improve their lifestyle. We ‎can all be of assistance in this arena by being mindful of other peoples needs and being there to reach ‎out a hand of support and friendship and use our skill sets to help where we can. ‎