When most relationship first begins, sex is full of discovery, intimacy and fun. Over time, this new-found excitement and intrigue starts to wane as demands of life may get too overwhelming to an extent that you begin to neglect your sex life. This does not mean you can no longer have a satisfying and desirable sex life just because you have been married for many years. Sex drives like the tide of the sea can go into "high tide" and "low tide" at times which is perfectly normal in every relationship.

So how can you continue to have a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life when your relationship is way beyond the novelty stage?

(1) Talking and listening to each other

It is important to talk to your partner about the issues whether they are physical or emotional in nature. If you feel your partner is no longer interested in sex, let him or her know your concerns and find out how he/she thinks about it and to work out ways to overcome this problem. If you are the one who has a lower sex drive, you need to reassure your partner that you love them and enjoy being close to them. If you want to try something new, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas too. If for certain unknown reasons, both of you find it difficult to talk about sex, you may need to seek the help of a counselor. If your loss in libido is due to signs of medical problem or medication, you will have to discuss with your doctor to find out what you can do to improve your sex life.

(2) Recognize that sex is more than just orgasm and penetration

It can be stressful to both parties if your sole objective of sex is orgasm and penetration. Instead you should try to enjoy the process of lovemaking and the feelings of arousal with your partner. You can spend time exploring each other’s bodies to find out what both of you like, through bathing together, giving each other sensual massage or just simply touching each other from head to toes. Through this process, you will also be able to discover your partner’s sexual preferences through your partner’s breathing and the sounds he or she make.

(3) Finding out what you like and what works for you

Sexual preference is a very unique and personal thing. Therefore you should spend some time to get to know your body in order to discover what feels good. You can lie in a warm bath to explore your body and experience the sensation of how the water feels on your skin. Find out what you like through masturbation, and then share this with your partner.

Losing sexual desire can happen for a number of reasons, such as getting older, illness, having children or worries about work, money or the relationship. If one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, you have to work out how to manage it within the relationship. Masturbation, sex toys or merely hugs and kisses may be an option. A lot of people who may not be able to accommodate a full sexual intercourse would be happy to give their partner that kind of sexual pleasure.

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