If you have kids and you’re getting a divorce, one of the hardest things you’ll have to do is break the news to them. Make no mistake. Telling your kids that mom and dad are splitting up is difficult, but it’s very important that you handle this moment properly. Your kids are about to go through a dramatic change in their life, and you need to make sure everything gets started off as well as possible.

So, just how should you go about telling your kids you’re getting divorced? While this might vary depending upon the amount of marital conflict your kids have been exposed to, your kids’ age, the type of relationships your kids have with each parent, and other various factors, the following tips will provide some good guidance to help you break the news to your children.

First, both parents should try to be present when telling the kids about the divorce. In some cases, this isn’t applicable (e.g. domestic violence in the marriage), but if at all possible, both parents need to be there to tell the kids. And before you talk to your kids, work with your spouse to come up with a plan for breaking the news. Each of you needs to know what you’re going to say beforehand.

When talking to your kids, don’t get into a fight with your spouse. Your kids need you both now more than ever, and it’s your job to be the adults during this troubling time. Keep the peace, and break the news in a calm, loving manner.

Speaking of calm, make sure you remain calm when breaking the news about your Florida divorce to your kids. They’re going to be upset, and there’s no way to know exactly how they’ll react. Understand the pain and confusion they’re dealing with, and don’t make things worse. Stay calm and let them catch their breath.

Of course, your kids will probably have a lot of questions. The amount of information you provide them with in response to their questions will depend on their age and maturity, but do your best to answer all of their questions as clearly as possible.

One of the things they’ll want to know is why you’re getting divorced. You don’t have to go into too much detail, and you certainly shouldn’t start blaming the other parent. Again, stay calm, and give your kids answers.

You need to also explain to your children as best as you can how their lives will be changing in the future. This includes things like where they’ll live, where they’ll go to school, how often you’ll be seeing one another, and so on.

Above all else, remind your kids that both parents still love them very much. Children have a tendency to blame themselves when their parents split up. Let them know that they aren’t the cause and that you will always love them and be there for them no matter what. They need to be comforted now more than ever. Be there for them.