If your woman is mad at you then she has a reason for being mad. It may not be a reason that you would get upset about but to her the reason is valid and worthy of her anger, hurt, or frustration, and she wants you to acknowledge and understand that. If you want to make her feel better than you are going to have to understand that simple truth first.

If you don't understand that she needs you to really get her reasons behind her anger then you can end up saying things that only make the situation worse. You can put all the blame on her for being upset and you can make her feel as though her feelings don't matter to you.

Once you realize that she really needs you to validate why she is upset then you will be able to say the right things to help you get to that point.

The number one thing you can say to her is: I want to understand what is wrong so that it can be fixed. When you say this to her you do a few things for the situation.

You Validate Her Feelings

 You are telling her that you recognize that she’s upset and it’s okay that she’s upset. You are essentially saying that there is a problem that needs to be worked on and you understand that. She will be relieved that you get that there really is a problem and that you want to work on it.

If you were to suggest that there is no problem to her then you would be telling her that her feelings are not necessary which would be telling her that her feelings are not valid to you.

You Show Her That You Care

 All she wants is for you to understand why she is upset and acknowledge the reasons behind her anger or hurt. By asking her to share those reasons you are showing her that you want to make the root of the problem better and that you care enough about her to work on it.

If you instead ignore the issue or make it seem as though it's no big deal you can suggest that you don't really care about her feelings and that working on her issues is not a priority of yours. This can potentially make her feel unloved and disconnected from you.

You Work Towards a Resolution

If you don’t understand what is really wrong and why she is upset then you can’t work towards a resolution to solve the problem. But when you let her know that you want to understand what is wrong so that you can fix it then you are taking the first step towards actually fixing it!

Many men will avoid the problem and wait till she lets it go without actually finding out what it was she let go. This means that the problem will most likely show up again and again in the future because you haven’t dealt with the real issue behind it. So while you think you have gotten away with not having to discuss the issue, you actually have made it worse for yourself because the issue has not gone away at all.