First reaction was I couldn’t believe my ears, definitely not cancer for someone like me. There must be some mistake. Maybe the doctor must have exchanged my report with someone else’s report. No.. not me of all the people in the world!! I have always been very health conscious, eating the right kind of food and also exercising. Even if I were to fall sick it used to be only common cold or fever and that too very rarely. Besides there has never been any family history. And the news was like an atom bomb. The whole family was shattered, especially my daughter, mother and husband. Though I couldn’t believe myself, surprisingly, I seemed to be very brave and bold on the first day where I had to motivate my mother and daughter not to cry. I told them that there must be some cure to this as there is so much research being done in this field. Definitely we should be able to find some solution.

To me cancer itself means death with lots of suffering in a very short span (I think I was influenced by the movies where the hero or the heroin suffering from cancer definitely dies towards the end of the movie). I found myself silently thinking a thousand things at the same time. Instead of thinking about the treatment and cure I started thinking about what are the things I need to complete before I died!! Now, when I look back I feel it was all very silly and cinematic. My husband who lives abroad flew to Bangalore the very same day. All his visits to Bangalore are very happy ones and for the first time after so many years he came home with a heavy heart. It took all of us a day for the reality to sink in and then my husband in his management style started working on solutions to the problem. He browsed the internet day and night trying to find out if there is a cure for cancer in alternative medicines or if there has been any advancement in technology wherein we could get rid of the dreadful disease in a simple manner. He learned and educated himself so much that we used to think he knew much more than the doctors about the latest advancements!!

All the research by my husband was being done only because I refused to undergo surgery, be it lumpectomy or mastectomy, even core needle biopsy and above all I did not want to undergo chemo wherein I had to lose my hair. The chemo therapy was one thing I feared the most in the whole treatment and I just did not want it.

After doing extensive research for a couple of days my husband was convinced with 3 non invasive treatments, rfqmr in Bangalore, hifu (High intensity focused ultra sound surgery) in china and mrgfus (MRI guided focused ultra sound surgery) in Japan. I took two cycles of rfqmr. I felt it did work very well but still the fear lingered in my mind and hence my husband and I went to Japan to check out regarding mrgfus treatment. But unfortunately, I did not qualify for the MRGFUS treatment since the lump was too close to the skin. Besides, the doctor there suggested mastectomy.

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