Like a well insulated blanket, you're made up of many layers. A protective mother, devoted friend, and dedicated partner, all rolled into one. And, that's just scratching the surface. When you carefully peel back the layers, you'll discover the many parts of you. Pieces you have yet to explore. Sides you've packed away. . . years ago. Self Identity in Mom-hood means you explore all that you are. All you are within motherhood and all you are outside of it. Here are a few ways to begin your journey.
Forget the Title
Our society is addicted to titles. The ones attached to the end of our names or glued to our office doors. They make some feel superior and leave others feeling invisible. Some use it as a license to puff themselves with pride and make others feel deflated.
They create divides between hardworking people. The difference between the two? One is paid more than the other. And, what happens when you're a hardworking mother who works for love not pay? It may leave you saying the bad "j" word. . . just. "I'm just a mom." And that's got to change. There's no such thing as 'just' a mom. It's the most powerful role on earth.
When you say, "I care for my family," feel the power you hold. Believe the influence you have. Your mission is mighty. Caring for your family is no small role. Believe it. Step into your power. Forget the title.
Spread Your Wings
Have you ever seen a butterfly in a match box? The beautiful creature barely fits. It has to lay one wing on top of the other. It can't fully spread out. The same is true with you. Don't limit yourself. Don't try to fit in a box others have built for you. Create the environment you want and spread your wings.
What lifts, moves, and excites you? There was a you before you became a mom, dentist, or accountant, and there still is. Underneath all the layers and lives you lead. . . there is a you. Find out who she is. Find out what she feels. Find out what she wants. Embrace your self identity in mom-hood. It's not self-centered. It centers your "self."
As you grow wiser and more beautiful at 40, 50, and 60, your taste may change. You loved Rock now it's Jazz. You loved girlfriend getaways, now it's quiet time alone. Things you found fascinating a decade ago, no longer hold your interest. I call it changing colors.
You grow into a new self with new loves and interests. Although those who've known you for years may find it hard to adapt. . . they will adjust. More importantly, give yourself permission to change. Seasons change, leaves change, and we change. Give yourself permission to grow into a whole new you. As you grow yourself, you grow your "self" identity. It all begins with you. It all stems from you. Peel back mom-hood and you'll find a woman. Underneath all the beautifully woven layers. . . there is a you.
Copyright 2011. Asia Sharif-Clark. All rights reserved.