There is nothing unnatural about fear. Birds have it. Seals have it. We have it. It's one of the most natural feelings in the world. The key is to be aware of what you fear and why you fear it. Then use your fear to move you forward. It's a sure way to start facing your fear and overcome what holds you back.
Admit the Naturalness of Fear
Be aware of those who tell you fear is for wimps. Fear is a childish feeling you need to get over. Don't go for it. Ever. What fear gives you is a personal alarm system. It tells you when you're uncomfortable. It alerts you of both real and perceived danger and pulls at your shirt, when you're out of your comfort zone.
This is the time to admit the naturalness of fear. A sense of fear is necessary to survive. When you tell yourself "It's natural to feel what I'm feeling" you validate not criticize, who you are. You validate the essence of being human. And a big part of being human is feeling. With this validation, you're open to move forward with your fear. . . not backing away from it. Someone wise once said, "Courage is not the absence of fear." Courage is really a fancy word for moving with fear. Acknowledging its existence and moving forward . . . anyway.
Affirm, You Won't Let it Stop You
Fear doesn't just go away overnight, but it can be diminished. Step by step, little by little, one move at a time, one day at a time. Make a commitment to yourself, "I won't let ____ stop me." No matter what 'it' is. It may slow you down, but don't let it stop you. Any step you take is progress. Every step you make is progress. Just keep on stepping.
When facing a new fear, think of an old fear you learned to overcome. Maybe it was a fear of swimming, climbing, or speaking. What inspired you to keep going? Who encouraged you to keep moving? What is your mantra? I love to use songs, powerful words to keep me moving. Step by step, one move at a time, one day at a time.
Get Help to Overcome What Holds You Back
You are never alone. You are not the first soul to go through what you're going through. Don't be ashamed to reach out for support or guidance when you need it. Nothing great is ever accomplished alone. When you reach out an amazing thing surfaces, you run into someone just like you. Someone who's going through or been through what you're now facing.
"I remember feeling the exact same way." Can be music to your ears when it's heartfelt and sincere. So reach out to someone you trust and let them know what's holding you back. The shame is not in the asking for help, it's in the denying you need help. You are never alone. So reach out and find out how much company you have. Wishing you more opportunities to face your fear and overcome what holds you back.
Copyright 2011. Asia Sharif-Clark. All rights reserved.