Getting your boyfriend back doesn’t need to be complicated. Yet we do tend to make mistakes when we are in that turmoil and devastation that happens when we are in, or just after a breakup. We are reacting emotionally and erratically rather than using logic and sense. What better time for some helpful advice? Here are some quick and easy steps for you to follow that will point you in the right direction and getting your love back:

Step 1: Don’t Try to Convince

One of the biggest mistakes women can make is thinking they can simply talk their ex into coming back. This usually ends with you becoming more emotional as he remains cold and distant. You do not want your ex to see you in this way. They will pull themselves further away because not only do they know you are doing it only to benefit yourself, you’re causing a scene and making them feel uncomfortable at the same time. Instead act against your feelings and allow them the space they need. Be calm, respectful and co-operative.

Step 2: Be Active & Moving

During the period of no contact, you need to get yourself active and moving. The more you stay in one place obsessing about the relationship, the more likely you will want to contact your ex. Basically you need to get over yourself, and get out and about. Start exercising, do things that make you feel good, hang out with your girlfriends etc. Think about it like this: you don’t have control over what he wants to do, but you do have control over your own experiences. So decide whether you want to stay home and be sad all day or go out and enjoy the time you have instead. Either way the outcome will be the same.

Step 3: Gradual Re-Contact

Gradually get back into contact with your ex. Let him know you still care about him and you’re thankful for the great memories you have shared. Tell him you would like to catch up sometime as friends. Be positive and happy. You might be wondering how this will bring him back? Well, think about how your relationship started in the first place: he didn’t fall in love with you because you begged them to go on a date with you. You need to let him slowly open up to you again and feel that relaxed connection and ease that brought you together in the first place.

Step 4: Then ‘Hang Out’

When things are slowly progressing, you can try asking him out on a non-date, ie a non-serious hanging-out. Don’t scare him with the thought of a ‘date’, so simply don’t call it a date; rather just two people hanging out. This way they can rationalize it to themselves that it is not a date.