It is important to have a good marriage counselor when a couple decides to go to marriage counseling. There have been recorded cases of marriages failing even after marriage counseling if they were handled by poorly skilled counselors. On record, there have been therapists who failed in counseling because of their lacking skills.
Three major concerns a marriage counselor should be able to handle include, the ability to deal with emotional issues, overcome hopelessness to resolve problems, and the need to find ways for conflict resolution.
Couples during the phases of their relationship will go through predictable but still difficult and hurting experiences as they adapt to each other's emotional reactions to different instances. Feelings of pain are expected, but such feelings like anger, despair, psychosis, and panic can just happen suddenly. When these sudden feelings are created, partners sometimes lose their mood for romance and become disappointed.
A good marriage counselor's role is to help couples avoid situations that may cause emotional outburst. A therapist should be easily accessible to couple who need help when troubled. Guiding couples on how to solve a crisis is another skill a counselor should have. When any of the partners are disappointed a therapist should be able to easily determine the problem and effectively treat the emotional concern. A good marriage counselor can easily calm down upset couples and can make them feel assured that their emotional reactions are controllable.
When troubled couples feel that all effort they give to better their partnership is hopeless, a marriage counselor should be ready to give the needed encouragement the spouses needs. A good marriage counselor should be a good source for the partners to learn techniques to make their relationship improve. A counselor is expected to have enough knowledge to suggest ways and means to solve any issue. The counselor's suggested strategy should fit the specific problem and not just be a standard response to all cases. Even if troubled, a couple should feel motivated to immediately solve issues. It is best to find specialized counselors in dealing with special issues like sexual incompatibility.
Some of the traits couples need to see in good marriage counselors are first, the skills to help couples overcome emotionally painful situations when solving marital problems. The next criterion is the counselor's ability to motivate the couple to keep the love burning in the couple's relationship. The last needed skill is the counselor's creativity to come up with techniques to keep a marriage alive.
Wherever a couple may be living, it would be simple to find a good marriage therapist. Family doctors or ministers can give a good recommendation. But the most reliable sources of options are the couple's friends who have already undergone therapy with a counselor who has successfully helped them strengthen their marriage. Searching on websites is also another way to source. Depending on the area, use keywords marriage therapy New York City, marriage therapy denver or try the common keywords marriage counselors