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Building Your Marriage With These Simple Guides
Home Social Issues Relationship
By: Cllifford Kearns Email Article
Word Count: 658 Digg it | Del.icio.us it | Google it | StumbleUpon it

  

Good relationships don't just happen. A lot of people just want to go through the motions of a marriage without really working at it at all. But having a great relationship is just a fallacy that ends up getting people frustrated and angry when they realize their strategy does not work.

What is without a doubt interesting is we all look at the great love quotes and people all imagine that love was created for us. Nonetheless that bond that many of us learn about from the love quotes for him and her is certainly love which has been tested by time and has remained. So the quotes about love is certainly a objective to be attained, not necessarily just a typical simple fact.

It is interesting, but there is some commonality to making a marriage a success for the long haul. These couples that have learned the secret to a great relationship know that you do not have to be perfect, but consistent.

KNOWING THAT YOU ARE BEING DILIGENT
A successful relationship must start with you. You are the only one that you have control over. Only you can assure that your actions and words will be appropriate and responsible in the relationship. One must realize that your spouse is not responsible for your happiness but you are responsible for your happiness and well-being. Therefore only you can make yourself happy. One must try and learn how to accept themselves as they are. It is the only way to accept others as they are. I have seen it over and over that a self-critical person will never be able to feel true joy even though their partner tries hard to make them happy.

THROWING OUT THE COMPLAINING
Truly having a great relationship comes when two people learn how to be thankful for the other spouse. Being in the habit of complaints brings the whole relationship down to newer lows instead of highs. Learning how to see the good in your spouse is vital to building a robust relationship. Being critical only creates added stress whereas being thankful builds a peaceful place wherein each partner feels safe to be open with the other and share a truly open life together. Since blaming one's partner for one's own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING
When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. Even as a youngster we learn how to use different things to get another person to do what we want. We can use a myriad of things to subtly control another person's behavior. And a lot of the time we do not even notice that we are doing it. Yet so many times our attempts to control just fuel the fire of arguments. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

The funny thing is that we keep our guards up because we think that we will be cast aside if we reveal our real selves or that we will get lost in the other person if we truly just let go. That is why some people will choose to be controlling and miserable instead of just being accepting and open with their spouse. One must learn to let go of their control and fears and really relax into a loving and caring relationship. Growing into a more responsive and mature person means that we must let go of our immature and controlling ways.

Cliff Kearns is enthusiastic about marriage as well as creating a love that can last a lifetime. Love quotes can easily motivate to love more intensely, to forgive a lot more effortlessly, and communicate the words which our within our hearts. Click here for some terrific love quotes, or click here for love quotes for him or her.

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