You have discovered that your partner has been cheating on you and you are justifiably furious. You have been betrayed and humiliated and you feel an all-consuming sense of anger. It is so dreadful that it is tearing you apart.
Anger is a completely normal reaction to an extraordinary state of affairs. However, if this anger is threatening to take over your life and influence everything you do and say then you have to identify a way to let it go.
No matter how difficult you perceive it to be you should take some remedial measures.. The "untreated" anger will only flourish and be with you every waking moment until it becomes too big to cope with.. It will take over your personality and turn you into someone who is known as an angry person...someone who is always in a foul mood.....someone who is not good to be around. You will gradually lose your true identity, the one that people loved so much up to now. Don't despair because there are some very simple strategies to follow which will steer you away from becoming this person..
Survive Infidelity: Distract Yourself
The moment you realize that your anger is coming to the surface you must distract yourself in some way.. Doing some exercise is one excellent way to do this. There are many other ways to accomplish the same thing such as reading a book, watch a favorite movie etc. Activities which you enjoy are ideal as it is very difficult to do something you enjoy and be angry at the same time.
Survive Infidelity: Recognize the Anger Quickly
Fairly often we are aware that we are angry about something but prefer to do nothing about it. Instead we let it simmer just beneath the surface until the dam bursts and the anger comes flooding out.
The moment you begin to feel angry about something, commit your thoughts to paper. Write down what you are feeling angry about. Do not allow it get to the stage where it boils over. You have enough to fret about without feeling guilty about losing your head in a fit of anger.
Survive Infidelity: Tackle The Angry Thoughts Straight Away.
Do not tolerate any angry thoughts, regardless of how momentary they may be, without challenging them. Question why you are having them.. The more often you let angry thoughts to invade your mind the more comfortable you will become with them and the more often they will occur.
There is a very good reason why we have angry thoughts. They let us know that something is not exactly as it should be. These thoughts could be determined by truth or they could be imaginary i.e. he/she is not answering their phone because they are with someone when in reality they might be at a meeting or on another call.
You ought to learn to challenge and then deal with your angry thoughts because if you do not then they WILL lead to more problems.......problems which you are ill-equipped to deal with as you attempt to save your marriage.