I have never really made a firm decision about having more children and I had never given it much thought, I have my two children and we have enough room and money for them so it seemed natural to stop at two. Now they are a bit older, I am really glad to have some of my independence back and my children are past the stage where there is a lot of work involved and are fairly independent. But in complete contrast to that I never really wanted to finalise my decision and always wanted to keep my options open as I am still relatively young and at some point I might still want a new baby.
But a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of looking after a toddler for a member of my family. It was a really enjoyable morning as he was an absolute delight. But I quickly realised it was almost impossible to get on with much while I had him, that didnít really matter as I had planned so that I didnít have to do anything else.
It reminded me of what it was like with a new baby, actually babies are the easy stage, but 6 months to one year on itís a completely different story. I really canít remember how I got anything done when mine where younger, I guess because I didnít work and had less commitments, it wasnít quite the same as it is now, but it really made me realise that having a baby is no easy decision and that you have to be really sure that you want to make that commitment. I really appreciated spending a few hours with a new baby or toddler. You can really put your energy and effort into them and they can be so amazing, clever and funny. I think quite often you miss those things when you have your own because you take it for granted and you are always so busy trying to keep up with housework and domestic chores. Also the novelty factor wears off as you are spending so much time with them, you see their tricks and games and all the things they learn so often, you donít appreciate quite as much.
I have come to the conclusion that I donít think I ever want to have another new baby of my own. I am very happy with my life as it is now. But I also appreciate the opportunity to spend time with friends and familyís little ones. And of course it is fantastic to be able to give other mums a break so that they can get on with other things, so I feel itís a good decision all round.
I am really looking forward to looking after future nieces and nephews and any other new babies of friends, because I will have plenty of time to dedicate to them for lots of fun and games.