How to spot a cheating partner

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Barry West
  • Published April 11, 2012
  • Word count 842

All relationships have their ups and downs, it’s normal, but would you know how to spot if your partner was cheating? Are there warning signs to look out for?

It’s currently estimated that about half of us have already cheated or will cheat on our partner. In fact, according to global statistics, a staggering 60% of men and 40% of women will have an affair! We’re not for one minute suggesting that all couples are doomed, however a vast number of couples have rough patches and our interests in each other come and go, it’s important to understand the reasons why.

  1. Intimacy And Sex – Recent changes?

According to popular belief, whilst someone is actively cheating they are unable or choose not to have sex with their partner at home, however this isn’t always the case. Occasionally, sexual activity will dramatically increase, become somewhat adventurous and seemingly ignite a spark in the bedroom. Whilst this can be a good thing, be aware that most cheats feel the need to prove to themselves that they can get at their marital home what they’re seeking somewhere else with a secret lover. It’s thought the new things that they’re doing with their secret lover will broaden their horizons for a partner at home.

  1. Excuse After Excuse

In the vast majority of cases a cheats behavior will be noticeably different and an increased number of excuses will be fed to a partner in order to get a love-fix elsewhere. For example, the guy renowned for putting very little effort in at work now want’s as much overtime as humanly possible, he’s a newly reformed character looking to showcase his commitment to his employer.. yeah right! Maybe he’s fantastic new sports car that was once so reliable it didn’t require an MOT suddenly starts playing dead on him – how convenient. Or, the girl who wasn’t particularly close to her family now needs to go and see a distant aunt, reconciliation and all that. Often, as a cheat needs to cover their tracks more and more, you’ll begin to see a lot more of these random excuses that don’t quite mesh with their prior behavior.

  1. Overly Critical

Another big symptom of the Cheatsville fever is unjustified criticism, things they once adored about you are thrown straight out of the window only to reveal they now detest it. Did they used to love your laid back attitude? Well now they’ll wonder why your not ambitious enough! Did they used to love your quirky sense of humor but now find it embarrassing? Did they used to love the fact you couldn’t get enough of them but now find you over possessive? All of these changes are major warning signs that they’re their attitude and perception towards you is changing, likely because they need to justify the cheating to themselves.

  1. Lack of communication

If a partner starts becoming less interested in finding out what you’ve done during the day, how you’re feeling and generally avoiding any communication with you, coupled with the aforementioned warning signs then it’s often an indication that he’s getting his emotional fix elsewhere. The cheat will stop telling you how much you are loved and public affections are non-existent. When kissing alone stops in a relationship, it’s often seen as a big warning sign.

  1. Secret phone calls & deleted computer history

You may notice a partner skulking off at any given opportunity to take a ‘business call’, or to respond to a very urgent message from a friend quite regularly during inhuman like hours. You may also be aware of their sudden new rule automatically disqualifying you from using their electronics, whether it be a phone or home computer – they didn’t have a problem with this before though. Internet history is regularly deleted and personal phones are kept in close range, this could be because they’re wondering if they remembered to delete the texts and emails.

  1. Body Language Barrier

More often then not, cheaters begin to give off new body language clues. For example whereas before they used to welcome you home with a big hug and a kiss after a long days work, they’ll now cross their arms, stand as far away as possible from you, tighten their lips and ignore you. Whilst conversing with a cheat you may notice the crossed arms and inability to maintain eye contact, subconsciously keeping you at a safe distance.

  1. You Feel It In Your Gut

This particular warning sign used to be a very popular stereotype before folk actually started to see the reasoning behind it. Very often, you notice an uncomfortable nagging feeling that something is wrong before you actually start to notice the ensuing behavior. It’s often an increased awareness that things aren’t going as they normally do or that your partner is becoming more distant, critical, or evasive. Don’t ignore it, it’s a defense system keeping you in the know!

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