Do you want your ex back even after you've cheated on them? A lot of my friends think that an affair is the end a relationship. I am not saying that I disagree, but I think that some relationships can be saved if both people really want to work on it. I want to look at ways people can restore trust in their relationships.
First of all, restoring trust in any relationship is going to take a big change in attitude and actions. Even after a terrible affair, it might be possible to somehow save the relationship. But tit is going to take some serious work to develop a level of trust again for the couple.
Since your the one that had an affair, what caused you to want to stray? Obliviously there is something at the relationship's core that is wrong. You need to fix hat is wrong.
What exactly was it that you were looking for when you cheated? Was the because of boring sex? Was they just too busy for you? Did they let themselves go?
Most of the time, people don't have had an affair if the relationship is going good. So, what exactly needs to be done to fix it? You probably need to take a close look at yourself first.
Restoring real trust in any relationship means fixing the real underlying problems. Did you or are you planning on going to some sort of couples counseling?
Honestly just understanding our problems isn't going to be enough. The real answer is taking action on fixing the problems.
Basically the real secret to restoring trust in a relationship is not in talking about the right things, but actually doing the right things.
You can build on small successes. You should make small promises and keep them. When you show that you can be trusted with small things, gradually a sense of trust will start to develop in the relationship.
Your partner basically is going to need to get constant reassurance that you really have changed. You will soon realize that you will need to apologize more than once. Also face the fact that you will hear recurring comments about how you violated their trust. It is not easy for your partner to forgive you. If you really want to stay with them, you will be need patient with them.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the affair forever. By the way, if you allow them to constantly give you a guilt trip, they will never really be satisfied with the new relationship you are building. Basically try to be understanding.
One last thing, you should try to put some kind of positive spin on the whole incident. Take is as an opportunity for both of you to really grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Some relationships can really improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a broken relationship is going to take time. It will involve you changing both your attitudes and actions. With that said, is possible to heal and be a stronger couple as a result.