Embrace the Single Life
Coming to appreciate the value of single life is indispensible for getting girls. Value your independence and you avoid neediness.
"For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it"
The worst enemy in this endeavor is neediness. Desperation is never attractive. Most guys who don't know what they're doing when it comes to girls are frustrated and lonely. They don't enjoy being single. They can't wait to find a girl. They hate being alone. Girls immediately recognize this and are just as immediately turned off.
Girls want guys who are content being single, who esteem their independence and enjoy their own company. And we ourselves should desire this. Who wants to depend on a girl for his emotional comfort? With this kind of mentality we lose our sense of self-respect. We're not gonna be the kind of guy we want to be if we lack this basic self-respect.
A guy who doesn't enjoy being single and can't wait to meet someone will prematurely judge girls, idealizing them all out of proportion to reality. They hate being alone so much and think that their options are so limited that any possibility whatsoever is deemed so important that they consider themselves doomed if they were to lose it. Desperation takes over. This is a self-reinforcing form of self-sabotage, because this mentality pushes away every good possibility in the first place.
Say a guy's been single a long time and doesn't really know what he's doing when it comes to girls. He can't wait to meet someone and get into a relationship. Hates being by himself. He meets a nice, pretty girl at his friend's gathering. Every movement he makes and every word he speaks is gonna drip desperation, even without him realizing it. He lacks confidence and comes across as undesirable. This will produce a negative reaction in the girl. She's going to find him unattractive.
The principle here is high demand=low confidence. When you're desperate for girls your confidence is low. Don't question this principle. Just accept it as a law of nature. On the other hand, low demand=high confidence. How do you lower demand? You have to learn and love the art of singleness.
The Bible is very clear that the single life is superior to the married life: Jesus says,
"For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it" (Mt 19:12).
A life devoted to the higher things of God requires in many instances the deferral of marriage, or even its complete renunciation. Paul explains:
Page 1 of 2 :: First | Last :: Prev | 1 2 | Next