You'll frequently hear that you have to apologize for something you did in a relationship but what else could you do if you do not know very well what took place? Many people think that they're apologizing because of what happened but actually; there's a hidden reason that exists and that's difficult to discover if you do not know what you are looking for.
All of the save marriage experts agree that your apology will not be effective in the event that you don't understand: What actually happened What you did wrong Exactly how the spouse feels
Knowing Exactly What Occurred To Save Marriage
Whenever we say "knowing what happened", it is important to see the feeling of the spouse. You might believe that something happened and he/she might have an entirely different perception. A lot of apologies end at this point because a quarrel starts about what truly happened. Every time you want to apologize, the perception you have is not suitable. You need to see what the partner thinks and this is actually the 1st step you need to take.
Knowing What You Did Wrong In Order To Save Marriage
Your role in the entire situation is certainly essential. You must know how your behavior led to the perceived problem. Never ever look at who's right and try to see what the partner thinks you did. It is necessary to do that even if you didn't plan to do something wrong or if you wished to do something bad. Apologies are usually needed whenever your partner was hurt by something that you did.
Understanding How the Spouse Feels To Save Marriage
This is actually the tough one. It is usually hard to know exactly how your spouse feels but it's required. In many cases we find ourselves assuming that we know how the spouse feels but this might not be the case. If it's not, your apology will not be effective. Once again, it is just a problem of perception. Each person is different. What might irritate one might not mean anything to another person.
You have to take the necessary time to actually figure out how your partner feels about the incident that is in question. In most cases the only solution that exists is a nice conversation. Sadly, couples do make the mistake of ending up arguing when such talks take place. Make certain you simply listen to your partner and let him/her tell you what's wrong. When you know how the spouse feels, your apology can be very effective.
Do You Need Assistance?
If you have problems with any of the 3 steps stated earlier, make sure that you talk to a professional that can tell you what you're doing wrong and explain how to save marriage situations such as these. You could learn all the skills which are needed and you can solve all the problems which arise in a marriage. Just be sure that you act fast and that you acknowledge that you could use help if this is the situation!