When men and women are asked what they find most attractive in a sexual partner there's, for once, one thing that both agree on - nothing is more of a turn-on than confidence. What makes this interesting is that while sure it's great to be with someone who is confident in what they're doing, how do people themselves rate their own confidence when having fun in the sack? Is confidence something that is portrayed more physically, or is it more subtle and born from psychological and emotional security?
These are just a couple of the topics we're going to look into now, as we seek out what it really means to be confident in bed.
Perhaps unsurprisingly recent surveys have reported that just over 50% of men rate themselves as being very confident and skillful lovers, with the figures for women being around 10% lower. This obviously tells us more about what each sex thinks is the 'ideal' of how they are supposed to perform when in bed - men are more likely to feel that they are supposed to be powerful and effective lovers, while women assume a slightly more passive role. Quite how reliable it is to measure something as abstract as 'confidence' in a physical sense though is difficult, especially when men identify themselves as having to demonstrate exceptional sexual prowess as a part of their identity. Which leads us onto something much more enlightening...
People of both sexes who claimed that they always used condoms in bed report that they always have superb sex. Considering how many men like to brag that they cannot function when wearing a condom, this seems to blow apart this myth - and the reasons for it are likely much more than physical alone.
From the male perspective wearing a condom most certainly does, in many cases, help the guy last a while longer. Sacrificing a little sensuality in exchange for a longer and more mutually rewarding session for both partners seems to be a small price to pay when it comes to enjoying fantastic sex. In part this goes hand-in-hand with the masculine ideal of delivering powerful and long lasting sexual pleasure to his partner, and certainly there's a psychological pleasure to be derived from being able to deliver.
From the female perspective - and this does also relate to men too - using condoms removes a great deal of the practical pressures and worries that come along with sex (excuse the pun!). Enjoying your partner without needing to worry about the pitfalls of STDs or unplanned pregnancy is unquestionably liberating, and most definitely liberating when it encouraging confident sexual performance.
Perhaps unsurprisingly confidence in the bedroom goes hand in hand with a greater satisfaction of a persons overall sex life. Interestingly it also appears that this degree of satisfaction is to be found more often among people who are in committed monogamous relationships rather than with those who are single and out playing the field. Long term relationships have often been thought to be a slow process of things going sexually stale, but it appears that the confidence of being with a partner who you know - and understand how to pleasure - allows for a more satisfactory sex life. This is a feeling shared by both men and women equally, both of who seem able to leave their inner prude in the hallway while they enjoy sex with someone they know, love and are naturally confident with.
So when it comes to asking are men or women more confident in bed, the answer can only really be found in looking into the mechanics of the relationship and understanding how this will affect answers to the question. What is certain though is that being with a steady partner and enjoying safe sex is the key to having regular amazing and mutually beneficial sex!