You know how in every comment section online thereís always that one guy whoís bitchy and moany about whatever the subject matter? Yeah, don't be that guy.
Often, thereís more than one. (Lookiní at you, YouTube!) And of course, girls do it too, but they tend to be more passive-aggressive, whereas guys can be more up-front.
As far as I see there seems to be a strong connection between that type of behavior and low confidence/self-esteem.
This doesnít mean that all of my readers are "moaners", as it were. (Au contraire, I like to think that youíre smarter than that.) Itís simply a matter of how non-fident people tend to think, and how many people seem to use online comment fields as an outlet for all-round negativity.
You see, non-fidence and negative thinking go hand-in-hand. If you tend to have negative thoughts about yourself, you canít very well have a positive outlook towards life in general, right?
And, conversely, if you tend to see flaws, ugliness and shortcomings everywhere, it would likely include yourself.
Now, thereís nothing wrong with questioning and critical thinking per se. But the line between critical and negative tends to be blurred, at best. And when youíre non-fident, itís all too easy to let negativity take over.
I hereby implore of youÖ: Donít be that guy.
Whether online or IRL, just don't moan and bitch. Those people bring about nothing constructive. Their attitudes and choice of words are poisonous towards a normal, healthy environment.
"But what if Iím being negative towards something that really deserves it, like racism, misogyny, corruption, global warming, or reality-TV??"
Look. Sensible people know perfectly well that those things are messed up. But what matters isnít how we talk about them; itís how we act towards them.
If you really wanna solve a problem, do something constructive to solve it. You solve nothing by simply pointing out negative aspects.
Don't be that guy who bitches and moans without bringing anything constructive to the table. Don't be that guy who does nothing but increase our collective amount of verbal sewage.
If you bitch and moan about things, chances are youíll not only look less cool to those who oppose you, but youíll likely become ingrained in the very habit of negative thinking. And thatís tough to unravel when you need momentum, lemme tell ya.
"So, am I not ALLOWED to speak my mind all of a sudden?!"
Yeah, notice how youíre still making negative assumptions rather than taking my words to heart.
Bottom line: Yes, thereís a downside to everything. But we gotta ask ourselves: Which side would serve me best to focus on? Which side is more beneficial and constructive? Which side would be ideal working towards?
I wage that 99,99% of the time, itís the positive side.
Note three things which you usually perceive negatively. For each of those, write three paragraphs of 50-100 words apiece, each concerning one positive aspect of that thing.
This exercise challenges our usual habits of thinking, and makes us see things from a different, positive perspective. Itíll probably surprise you how tricky -- and beneficial -- it is.