Deep down, we’d all like to be able to simply forget — or delete — our insecurity.
Some people will claim that we’re better off having insecurity. Because it’s a natural, human trait that keeps us grounded and in touch with our humility.
But when someone with certain ambitions also has low confidence… They just wanna find that insecurity and simply press ‘delete’.
I know you’re out there, and I totally hear you.
However, here’s why we need to go about it a different way…:
Obviously there’s the fact that doing away with a considerable part of our mindset tends to be a time- and resource-demanding process.
But there’s also the fact that when we want to get rid of something, first we need to accept it.
Those of you who struggle with stress and panic anxiety will know this. The more we fight it, the worse it tends to get. It doesn’t start to go away until we calmly and openly acknowledge and accept that it’s there.
It’s like that for all imaginable problems, really.
Hell, just imagine trying to walk on a broken leg because you won’t accept that it’s broken. Not exactly clever, yeah?
When we accept something, we grow a little. I’m all about personal growth, and this case is no exception.
Because, just like with stress and anxiety, when we embrace insecurity, its influence lessens because we allow ourselves to contain it.
When we’re big enough, we can contain anything. Including the things that have been opposing us. And if we simply absorb our obstacles, they’re no longer in our way.
Pretty cool philosophy, right?
Furthermore, if you’ve ever been insecure, you’ll always remember that feeling no matter how hard you try to forget it. So really, it’s no use. But the root of the matter is, it’s not about forgetting; it’s about learning to ignore it at the right moments.
And yes, I specifically use the word 'ignore' here. Some might think me self-contradictory for talking about embracing insecurity first and then simply ignore it. But really, this is how confident people do it.
Given the right set of circumstances, anyone can feel insecure about something. This is basic, primal neural functions at work. We’re hardwired to look for trouble. But that doesn’t mean there’s really anything to be insecure about. So we need to learn to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Then, we’ll be able to tell our insecurity to calm down when it’s not useful.
Which, in fact, it rarely is.
Now, apart from acknowledging your insecurity, there are several things you can do that will naturally diminish it.
If done right, meditation helps. Also, exercise is always a good thing. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep should go without saying. (And then, of course, there’s confidence coaching, which I most heartily recommend!)
Different things work for different people. But however you live your life, always remember this:
Everyone feels insecurity. Even confident people. It's what we DO about it that shows our real character.