Serious conversations with your loved ones can be difficult, especially when it comes to taboo subjects such as swinging, but that doesnít mean that it is impossible. For whatever reason, you have decided you want to introduce the concept of swinging to your dating partner. Here are some tips on how to prepare to have that conversation.
Know Why You Want This
Take some time to really think about why you want this sort of relationship. Understanding your own reasons will help explain to your partner, and it will allow you to better answer any questions they may have. Ask yourself where the desire lies, whether that be in exploring some curiosities, filling gaps in the relationship or simply because you like it. Then, think about the details, how would you like it? Think about your ideal situation and keep that in mind while talking to your partner. Take notes and make bullet points to take into the conversation, if that helps.
When you start the conversation, donít list the ideas you have. Be gentle, and use conversational foreplay to warm them up. Start off by reminding them of your affection, that you respect their boundaries, and that the following conversation is merely an option, not a demand. Then, talk about what swinging is and what it has the potential to be before diving into your personal preferences. Starting off with your ideas may come off as demanding and frightening, but showing respect for your partner and slowing the conversation will make the idea sound a lot more comfortable and welcoming.
Just as you should start slow with conversation, you should start slow with ideas. If your partner has displayed interest or curiosity in the subject, they may ask you what your desires are. Donít immediately throw your partner into the deep end by suggesting that you organise a gang-bang, especially if your partner is new to the concept. Instead, suggest something tamer that may still align with what you want and what you know your partner may be comfortable with. Slowly warming up to new ideas has been proven to work much better than starting from the top.
Have Resources Handy
Sometimes people understand things better by seeing it written down, and you may not always have the answers to questions while in the moment. Keep resources in an accessible place, such as the notepad on your phone, and link your partner them when you are finished talking or use them to consider anything that comes up. Not only is it useful, but your partner will know to take you seriously.Resources can be anything from articles and papers on the subject, statistics or even dating websites.
Prepare for Rejection
It doesnít always work out, and sometimes your partner wonít be interested in swinging. What to do with that development is for you to decide, but remember not to push your partner into anything they arenít comfortable with, and cheating on your significant other is not a worthy alternative. You can always give it some time and come back to the subject at a later date, but always respect your partnerís wishes and boundaries.