When my clients’ spirit people come through, they often speak of regrets and unfinished business. When that happens, I remember reading this article written by a palliative care nurse: "The Top Five Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed." They are:
1) I wish I d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I hear this a lot from my psychic development students. Many of them wish they’d learned to develop – and then trust – their intuitive abilities a lot sooner. Instead, they listened to their parents/siblings/friends/spouse/school teacher/religious leader/ (pick relevant one or several) and convinced themselves that their perceptive insights were irrelevant.
Think about it: How many times have you promised yourself you’d take that vacation, learn a new skill, try writing that novel, or begin that exercise regimen? It’s never too late until it’s too late. As Nike says, "Just do it!"
2) I wish I didn’t work so hard.
I applaud people who work hard to support their family, and even take a second job to make their kids’ lives easier. But how much money buys enough happiness, and when does the need for financial security lead to insecurity?
One of my clients, Raj, was so concerned about not making enough money that he worked himself into a heart attack. His hard labours were for an admirable reason – he wanted to provide comforts for his family of five once he was gone. "But Raj," I told him, worried because he had to take time off work to recover his health, "what’s the hurry? You’re not gone yet!" Even his father, who touched in from spirit, told him to stop and smell the curry. (His dad was quite a joker – and quite wise!)
3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
Moira made an appointment because she wanted to hear from her mother. I centred myself, then felt the presence of an older gentleman who began talking to me about a coin collection. "And he’s showing me a striped tie that you had given him for Christmas when you were a young girl. He’s thanking you for it."
"That’s not my father," Moira said sternly. "He collected coins. But he’d never acknowledge anyone’s kindness toward him."
"But he’s acknowledging it now," I said. "He’s saying he loves you now, because he wasn’t able to say it while he was living."
Moira snorted. "It’s a little late for that," she said, and asked again to hear from her mother. I felt her father’s presence shrink a bit, yet he still stayed nearby, hoping for another chance to connect with his estranged daughter.
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
The lyrics to this traditional Girl Guides song speak so eloquently to this: "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." That’s because close friends and loving family members are the ones who’ll support you in time of need.
5) I wish I had let myself be happier.
When was the last time you heard a good joke? Did you repeat it to others? Why not?
Remember that old Mary Tyler Moore show about the funeral of the clown, and the mourners couldn’t stop laughing? How wonderful! I sure hope people crack a smile or two at mine. Because then I’ll know (and you can be sure I’ll be watching the goings-on from spirit) I made people laugh. We all need to be silly sometimes.
Now, what about you – any regrets lately? It’s never too late to correct a few misgivings!