You are done with the insular drama and complicated dating hi jinks of High School (where lasting from first period to lunch was considered a long term relationship) but you aren’t quite in the real world where looking for a date is a full time job. This is College where you will get to have the freedom and excitement of the real world with the contained dating pool that happens in school. It is the best time of your romantic life but it can also be filled with heartbreak and pain if you don’t avoid these three common dating mistakes that newbie’s on campus often make.

1) Moving too Fast- This is probably your first time living on your own and it is exciting, but also sort of scary. Back home you always had somebody you cared about to talk to or to help you out when you were feeling bad. Now you just have a roommate you were randomly assigned by a computer and who you probably can’t stand. The desire to find someone to connect with can be so great that when you do find someone you end up going straight from first sparks to being attached at the hip within hours. It was not at all unusual to see freshmen couples moving in together and planning their lives after a few weeks. But in their hurry to find someone to help ease their homesickness they often end up with someone they have nothing in common with other then mutual loneliness. These relationships always end and usually in an explosive fashion where both parties end up with hurt feelings and anger. Take things slow. You have plenty of time to get to figure out if someone is right for you. If you move too fast you may end up destroying your chances for a long lasting relationship with the other person.

2) Confusing Sex and Love- Do you know what we call college freshmen? New meat. Unfortunately some upperclassmen know that you are going through a lot of emotions and are vulnerable and they take advantage of the situation. They will come on strong with sweet words and romantic promises but once you have sex with them they drop you and focus on someone else. There is nothing wrong with being a sexual person, as long as you are protecting yourself, but it is wrong to think that these romantic promises are true. Try and separate sex and love in your mind because most of the upperclassmen have already made this distinction. Don’t sleep with someone just because you think that you are in love and don’t fall in love with someone just because they have sex with you. And don’t be pressured into doing more then you want to. You aren’t uptight or a prude just because you are into monogamy.

3) Drinking and Dating- You aren’t 21 but that probably won’t make a difference on campus where booze fueled parties and events are happening every weekend. This isn’t going to turn into a lecture against underaged drinking, even though it is illegal and binge drinking can result in death. If you are going to make the decision to get wasted that is up to you. But it is a bad idea to mix alcohol and relationships. Drinking can make people act differently and the perfect guy you met at a party may end up being a dud when they’re sober. Drinking also lowers your inhibitions which means you may make decisions while drunk that you would never usually make. Millions of college students have woken up hangover and next to somebody they usually wouldn’t be caught dead even talking to. On a more serious note, most date rapes that are reported at least one of the people involved had been drinking. A nice guy might become more aggressive when he had been drinking and a girl might be less likely to fight back. Together it creates a terrible situation that could change both your lives forever. If you are going to go out partying bring a sober friend with you who will keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything you will regret in the morning.

Remember that you are in college to further your education, not just hit to social scene. Keep your studies first and everything else will fall into place.