The net is flooded with ‘Ten Ways to Have a Great Marriage’, ‘Secrets of Golden Anniversary Couples’, ‘How to Make Marriage Work’ etc. Almost every issue of ‘Reader’s Digest’ features a story on the beauty and permanence of human emotions, especially love. But are more than a third of the couples of the UK, who are opting for a divorce, being foolish and blind? Perhaps not, as divorce, whether we want to accept it or not has some important advantages as well.

When Divorce Rescues You

There are some situations where the marriage itself had too many negative aspects thrown in to be enjoyable or even tolerable. Divorce comes as a rescue in such cases, and is the way out of a terrible situation.

• It is a matter of shame and regret that instances of marital abuse is rising in the UK. Nor is this confined among young Asian couples who are forced into unwilling and untimely wedlock by their families. The rates among most communities are rising, and it is more a result of turbulent personal reasons rather than community and culture. Where physical abuse is concerned, divorce is sometimes barred by a violent and threatening spouse, who may be well on the path to derangement. Therefore, it comes as a blessing in disguise when it can be achieved at all. In the case of emotional abuse, matters may actually be more difficult. Sad but true, most people do not take emotional abuse as seriously as it should be taken as yet, and the support base is less strong for this. Divorce is definitely better than slow dehumanisation.
• There are some marriages where the power equation has gone all wrong. One partner may end up being a control freak and a sort of domestic tyrant. This does not mean that your spouse would beat you and lock you up. It may be a long and agonising process, till you realise one day that you have been reduced to a shadow of your former self, and your identity has been obliterated by your spouse. If you do not have the strength to fight it, just go away and start the divorce process, and if you do have the strength, go for a divorce before it is too late.
• There is yet another intolerable situation where the spouse becomes an economic sponge. He or she will take over all the money, but would not give you the economic rights that are naturally and legally yours. The worst part is that they might try to blackmail you. Do not wait till it is late to the point of being dangerous. The divorce is the only way out, so grab it.

• If your spouse had been having an affair with someone else, perhaps your marriage had already ended. You are free now, you need not be betrayed ever again by the person closest to you, and you can move away from a failed marriage.
• If you are in love with someone else, you can rebuild your family. May be you can dig up an old flame.
• You are free to concentrate whole heartedly on your own career, and write your own success story. Many people have gone on to become triumphant only after their divorce.
• You are also free to follow your hobbies, interests and passions. You are less ‘answerable’ to anyone so this is the time to take risks, try out new avenues, and experiment with yourself to try out what we want. Look upon this as a privilege with the chance to go out and work on all those things you had only dreamt of doing so far.
• Having no partners makes life less complicated. You don’t have to share your earnings, can take decisions regarding the children by yourselves, and you don’t have to think of someone else’s opinions and reactions on each of your decisions.
• If your marriage had been dead due to lack of communication between the two of you, probably you were both too tired of the daily grind to bother anymore. Take this chance to start life afresh.