There is a way to simultaneously reduce resistance and increase your persuasiveness.

Different people are hardwired differently. Some are more self referenced than others.

On the other side of the coin are individuals who are self validated, who are more disconnected from external feedback. They know who they are and don't need anyone or anything to define them.

Its rare for anyone to be exceedingly self or externally referenced. With the right handling, pressure, framing you can make them lean out into the world, regardless of how internally validated they are. Obviously the more externally validated they are, the more influence you have of them.

You must position yourself in such a way that they covet your validation and influence, they feel the burden to satisfy you. The more dependent they are the more influence you can exercise!

Common examples could be expertise, rank, connections, money, access to a resource etc are just some ways you can suck them into that weaker role of influence.

You are not restricted to the above examples. Catch yourself in daily life, wanting external validation from total strangers who have none of these attributes. You can create influence and even more influence out just by putting yourself in a better position of influence.

Work their internal realities.

Redefine anything they think, say or do as a manifestation of the identities you want them to assume. By altering the interpretation or meaning of external feedback, you are altering their self generated subjective experiences.

Since an individual cannot see himself apart from what he sees externally from the world, people and external manifestations? Modifying the feedback, directly impacts his self concepts and internal worlds.

As you become better at pulling people out of their self erected barriers, and on to your sphere of influence, the effectiveness of your tactics influence grows exponentially.