"To become acquainted with kindness one must be prepared to learn new things and feel new feelings. Kindness is more than a philosophy of the mind. It is a philosophy of the Spirit." Robert J. Furey Breaking the ice Approach people with your heart. Have you heard that saying, "he wears his heart on his sleeve?" Don't have your hands folded over your chest and if you are wearing a coat or suit, unbutton it. Show them you are open to them and they have nothing to fear. Treat acquaintances and non-acquaintances, with equal enthusiasm. First always be sincere, show a warm smile, don't just smile, but radiate warmth in your smile. Project an air of friendship, lean slightly toward the person, (but not enough so they will detect it) extend your hand in friendship, take their hand firmly yet gently in your right hand, place your left hand under their forearm and gently cradle it for a moment. When shaking a good friend's hand, firmly take their right hand in your right hand, cradle their upper arm in your left hand. A very good friend may warrant a pat on the shoulder. They won't even realized you've made this gesture, but they will have a feeling of warmth and friendship. This is a more familiar gesture and should be left to same sex greetings. When a man meets a woman be careful as to not be too familiar. If you enter a room where people are seated, gently pat your acquaintances on the shoulder as you pass by. Your friend will have a warm glow come over him/her because you are in their presence.

Your first word should be Hello or Hi, followed with your first name. Like, Hi, "I'm Don, how are you today?" be sincere in asking. if they want to elaborate, that's ok. Try to use their name at least three times in your initial conversation. If you have a problem with remembering names, write it down as soon a possible. This will aid you in remembering it. The more they tell you about themselves the more you will understand and remember them. Be empathetic, people love to talk and one of their favorite things to talk about is themselves. Listen to what they have to say, if it's important to them then it's important to you. Make them feel at ease, like an old trusted friend. People look for common ground, the number one thing you have in common with them is that you are another person. Start from there and look for other common ground on which to build. Perhaps a hobby or book, by bringing a common denominator into your conversation a bond is established between you and your new found friend.

Always remember, a friend is a person you can trust and hold in confidence while a business person is an associate, and in most cases, not a friend. Although, sometimes an associate can also be a friend.

People are comfortable with whatever is closest to them. It's because they feel a kinship or connection. The more alike you can be to someone the more likely they will accept you. If you are too different then he/she will see you as a threat and automatic defense mechanisms will be enacted. This process is an automatic response and usually not detected. When asked, "why don't you like so-in-so" the answer is usually, 'I don't know, there's just something about him/her" that I don't like." You can't quite put your finger on it, there's just something not right. The truth is, everyone passes judgment on others.

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