"Mommy!"

"What is it now?"

"You're not my mommy."

"Your mommy is asleep, lucky for her. What do you need?"

"I need to go pee."

Fortunately, I can always go back to my pillow, and after another twenty minutes, just as I am fading back into sleep…

"Mommy!"

"What is it this time?"

"You're not my mommy."

"Your mommy is still asleep. Let's not wake her. What do you need now?"

"I need to poop."

Fortunately, I can always crawl back under the covers, and after another twenty minutes, just as I am finally fading back into sleep…

"Papa."

"What now?"

"It's morning."

"Little Lady, it's still dark."

"No. Come here. Look out the window. It's not night any more. See? The sky is lighting. It's a beautiful, sunny day. What are we going to do today, Papa?"

As I bring Little Lady downstairs to revel in the joy of a new day on our green and milk colored carpet, I wonder why we bothered toilet training her. As I lift the garbage bags to carry them to the street, 120 yards away, I have my answer. Since Little Lady has abandoned those disposable diapers, we have been consuming much less garbage.

Now, if somebody would kindly push me down the stairs so I can get some sleep…

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