We started by explaining to our children that who they wanted to be and what they wanted to study was their choice. However, since mom and dad would be paying for the college education, the choice of school was ours.

Based on this rule, out-of-state schools were out of the question. We saw no reason to pay $30K a year more so our children could ski the Colorado Mountains. State schools in California were widely available and much more affordable.

Another option was to graduate high school at age 16 by taking a proficiency test and attend community college for two years. This would save at least $20K a year in tuition (even at a state school), and give them the ability to easily transfer to any state university of their choice. If they got accepted at a good university right after high school, we would have no problem paying the bill. Otherwise, it made more sense to attend community college for two years and then transfer rather than attend a mediocre college right out of high school.

Responsible Choices

The results are as follows.

Our oldest daughter applied and was accepted to UC Irvine right out of high school. She lived on campus for the first year and commuted the second year. For her third year, she transferred to UC San Diego, and will be a junior next year in her hometown. Our middle daughter, who recently turned 18, took the proficiency test at 16, completed her AA in a community college, and received an acceptance letter from all of the schools she applied to.

The fact is, in-state schools cost half as much as out-of-state. If you can’t afford the higher tuition and extra room, board and travel expenses, it is prudent to encourage your child to apply to a school nearby. Unless money isn’t an issue, it doesn’t make sense to send your kids out of state just because their friends are going along for the ride. Plus, the transition will be less stressful on their bodies and souls.

The moral of the story?

Our job is to raise responsible adults and show them how to live their lives to the fullest while being practical at the same time. While our children’s education is extremely important, attending their party school of choice is not. If your financial situation doesn’t allow you to put your kids through school, help them make the right choices by choosing affordable yet credible schools while borrowing as little money as possible. Help them make responsible choices so they don’t begin their journey into adulthood burdened with a mountain of debt.

And while we’re at it, let’s all do a better job of planning for our retirement. After all, we want to be an asset and not a liability to our kids.

For my husband and I, it’s two down and two to go. Good luck with your own children!

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