T’was the night before Christmas, and though it was hot
Remus was dozing, the cats had dropped off
The stockings were dangling from hooks here and there
We just hoped that Santa could figure out where.

Di and Yvonne were stretched out on their beds
The humidity high, not a breeze stirred their heads
And though I was on guard, the heat was quite tiring
I started to nod off, not very inspiring.

When from outside there was such a clatter
I leaped to my feet to see what was the matter
Was it frogs on the window, or possums on the roof
I barked out for Remus, I knew I’d need proof
We ran to the window and scanned far and near
The cats flew upstairs, cowering in fear.

Then I spotted a strange car, with 8 ugly dogs
They were bigger than me, and wore odd looking clogs
And then down stepped a man – very large and red
Was this Santa? Out here? Quick, get the girls out of bed!
So we barked and we barked, then we heard the man shout
He was calling his dogs, Gosh, I hope they can’t get out!

"Now Dutchy! now Bruiser! Now Bluey and Rex!
On Lily! On Hamish! On Ebony and Tex!
To the top of the patio, to the top of the wall
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

With that they took off, straight up in the air
We were shocked, me and Remus, we didn’t think it was fair
We couldn’t fly – Lord knows we had tried
When we chased that bush turkey right round the side
They thumped onto the roof, made a heck of a noise
It was louder than one of my squeaky toys
We ran to the stairs to defend hearth and home
When down walked Santa looking like a big garden gnome.

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
A bit hot for Australia, he even had boots!
A sack full of presents he had on his back
He looked like a swaggie opening his pack
And though he was an intruder – and we were the guards
He was obviously a dog man – we didn’t try very hard
He smiled and called us, he tickled our ears
Asked if we’d been good doggies for all of the year.

He smelt so delicious like a very good dog treat
Our tails started wagging, we could barely stay on our feet
He had a big happy face and a big round belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I grinned when I saw him in spite of myself.

He gave us a wink, and from out of his pocket
Came two Christmas bones, I was on mine like a rocket
With such a good man we had nothing to fear
We chewed on our bones while he filled our stockings with cheer
Then when he was done he gave us a wave
And went back up the stairs, not a sound he made.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him shout out before he flew out of sight
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!".