5. Cause #3 of Resistance to Change - Uncertainty over the Operational Aspects

Logic-based resistance to change reflects our reluctance to make a change because we do not understand or agree with the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and/or How of the change. My logic-based resistance was based partly in my uncertainty about some How's and Who's of dating.

I had not dated for over nine years. I was convinced I would not be able to date without thoroughly embarrassing myself. I was stuck on such issues as ' "How do you date?" "Who will I date?' "Where will I find people to date?" As long as I pretended I did not have to take control of my divorce recovery, I did not have to confront my ineptitude with dating.

6. So How Can You Use This?

One fact exists, resistance to change happens to EVERYONE. It will happen to you. Be aware of its causes and be alert to your fears, your reactions to loss, and your confusion over the operational nuts and bolts of making a recovery. It's all about taking the next step. Making the next change. You can be paralyzed by resistance to change as I was, or you can confront the resistance and dissolve it, thus enabling you to get on with the next chapter in your life.

Some questions to ask yourself that will help guide you on your recovery might include - What about the future do you fear today? What about "how things used to be" are hard for you to give up? Are you confident that you have the skills and knowledge to make your recovery?

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