A person may be depressed if they are also experiencing strong feelings of guilt not related to the bereavement, thoughts of suicide and dying, feeling worthless, slow speech and movements, staying in bed for long periods, inability to function socially, hallucinations about the deceased person.

Some people are more prone to experience depression after bereavement, for example, if they have a history of depression, intense grief, few social supports and little experience of death. However, this does not mean that if a person has these characteristics that they WILL have depression after bereavement.

GRIEF COUNSELLING

After bereavement, family and friends may support us, but sometimes this is not enough. Sadness is a typical and natural reaction. We may want to discuss the deceased person, will probably become upset when we do.

If a person is also thought to be suffering from depression, antidepressants may be prescribed by a doctor. Antidepressants treat the depression, but they do not have an effect on the underlying problem – their grief. Untreated depression can make it harder for the person to cope with their grief though.

There are many different responses to grief, which are totally normal, and doctors, counsellors and psychiatrists may be reluctant to diagnose a person as mentally ill during a bereavement. They may provide support to help the person grieve.

A grief counsellor can help the mourning process by allowing a person to move through the stages of grief in a relationship that is supportive and confidential. The grief counsellor will try to help the person to accept their loss and talk about it. They will encourage them to identify and express their feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, helplessness and anxiety.

The grief counsellor will also help the person live without the deceased, encouraging them to make decisions alone. They may need to separate emotionally from the deceased and form new relationships. The grief counsellor will also provide support and identify ways of coping with the bereavement. The grief counsellor will also help the person to realise that what they are experiencing is normal and a typical response to grief, that they are not "going mad".

There are organizations, such as Cruse and Compassionate Friends, who are able to offer grief counselling support, as well as counsellors who may specialise in grief counselling.

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