Personal ghosts of fear and abandonment often emerge with power when confronted with marital infidelity.
And, believe it, facing those personal ghosts is usually THE best, most powerful, subtle, yet to-the-point strategy to stop the affair dead in its tracks.
Guaranteed? No, much depends on the kind of affair facing you and a few other factors.
But, believe me, it's your best shot.
And here's the kicker. YOU become the victorious WINNER, regardless of the path the two of them follow.
You CANNOT lose when you grab yourself by the shoulders, look into your eyes and declare to yourself and the world: "We're gonna face this! Look out! Here we come! I will NEVER be the same!"
So, what do you face? What fear do you face?
Here's one: the fear of the unknown.
Infidelity trashes your dreams and hopes for your future, the future of your family and relationship. Running incessantly through your mind is the possible eventuality of being alone.
And you are not absolutely sure what that will look like.
Your future, perhaps alone, is unknown and it scares the bejeebies out of you.
I can't state this more powerfully.
But, listen to one of my subscribers. Please.
What she says may change the flow of your life, the affair and your marriage.
Read her story of how she transformed her fears:
I've wondered why I couldn't handle the thought of my husband leaving me for "the other woman". After all, why was I still in love with him after such a betrayal? I only knew that I couldn't stand the thought of throwing away 22 years of marriage over something that started in a bar with one too many drinks in both of them.
Here's what I know to be true of me. I don't like change. I'm loyal to a fault and will fight to the bitter end if it's something or someone I believe in.
I guess I believed in my husband. It took a year and eight months for him to come around, even though he ended it with the other woman after two and a half months. I accomodated him and tried to please him, to make him happy, as a way to deal with my fear of losing him. My fears kept me from making him move out.
I blamed myself for not being "enough" for him. I finally woke up one day after him telling me for the hundredth time that he didn't think he loved me and I left with our youngest child and the family dog.
It suddenly dawned upon me that moving into an unknown future was less frightening that spending the rest of my life in a loveless marriage. I could no longer stand the dramatic ups and downs (we were close for two months and then he'd withdraw) which was creating tremendous stress for me!
I found out it's what I should have done from the start. I was too afraid if I kicked him out, it would drive him right into her arms.(They also worked out of town together and stayed at the same Motel which I felt made it very easy to keep it going)
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