You have the power to change your mood at this very moment—to increase your optimism, elevate your energy and enthusiasm, and increase your motivation toward reaching your personal goals. How is this possible?

By sowing the seeds of gratitude.

Research shows that when you increase feelings of gratitude, a domino effect occurs and you begin to experience other positive changes as well, such as increased overall happiness. If you’ve ever been told to "count your blessings," you should have listened.

What is gratitude and why is it important to your relationship?

At some point in your relationship you will take your partner for granted. There’s really no way around this. Don’t panic—this doesn’t mean you love your partner any less or that your relationship is troubled. (After all, most of us take life for granted at one time or another, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love being alive!) Patterns develop in relationships that lead us to expect certain things from our partners. The joy and tenderness that was once stirred by a morning hug or warm greeting can get lost because of sheer repetition or busy lives that compete for attention.

Gratitude is the antidote to taking your partner for granted.

First and foremost, gratitude is a mindset.

Gratitude is not a one-time event but rather a mindset that requires cultivation. A gratitude mindset can refocus your attention, pointing out all the small, easily over-looked things your partner does. It reminds you that your wife didn’t have to phone "just to say hello" or that your husband didn’t have to cook dinner after a long, exhausting day. The gratitude mindset silences anti-appreciative thoughts like, "She’s supposed to do that…" or "He’s just doing what any father should do…" When you embrace gratitude and make it part of your inner dialogue, you’ll hear yourself saying, "She’s such a thoughtful person" or "Our children are lucky to have him as a father."

Adopting the mindset of gratitude takes commitment. But, if you decide to become more consistently grateful for your partner or spouse, look what you’ll get in return: you’ll feel better about yourself and your relationship; you’ll feel more positive and optimistic about the future of your relationship or marriage; your partner will sense this optimism and positive outlook and therefore will feel appreciated, and will become infected by the spread of gratitude.

How to begin:

~ Begin to notice all the small things your partner does, especially all the things you typically expect him/her to do. The next time your partner gets the children fed and off to school before heading to work, notice the love, dedication and multi-tasking skills involved in this activity.

~ Be open to your partner’s uniqueness. Remind yourself of all the reasons you are drawn to your partner. What is it about this person that made you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her?

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