Coaching Subordinates

Coaching employees can be difficult. It's painful when you are coaching employees on sensitive matters. As a leader, you tend to put things off and ask yourself the same questions again and again, only to be surprised when you realize that your employees may not know a lot, but are still aware of a lot of things.

Almost everyone feels uncomfortable when coaching employees, yet few admit that they feel ambivalent or inadequate. Many leaders who say with pride that they have no hesitation usually do the task like a bulldozer (over aggressively). In fact, coaching employees is dangerous (you may lose control of the discussion), and you're vulnerable (you have to substantiate your side and your leadership methods may be questioned by the subordinate). Consequently, you elevate your worst fears, you get winded, you spend time obsessing, and you try to figure out ways to avoid or delay it. This isn't a good course of action and you know it.

You may reason that the issue is too trivial for a coaching session. This may affect both you and the subordinate later, especially when the subordinate's work is under evaluation for advancement, movement, or performance appraisal. To avoid hurting subordinates that could ruin work is the real reason why leaders resist coaching. They overlook the contribution that a constructive coaching session can give to improve things.

The reality is many employees look for frankness, candor (trust), and honesty, as well as efficiency, excellence, and quality. Until leaders set aside their hesitation and ambivalence, these requirements cannot be achieved.

You need to accept that it's natural to resist potentially compromising situations. Then you must ensure that these imaginary obstacles don't get in the way. Simply anticipate your own hesitations and ambivalence. Convince yourself over and over again that it's okay, and just move forward and rely on the eight-step coaching process to work if you carefully attend to every step.