The structure of the modern nuclear family is a relatively new invention when considered along the timeline of human history. Long before "Leave It to Beaver" ideals became the norm, families didn’t isolate themselves from their relatives, and parents didn’t leave home to spend their days in an office. Extended families lived together in the same community, every individual contributed to the welfare of the whole, and a wide variety of close, personal relationships were essential to a family’s survival. When children were old enough to help, they worked alongside their parents, and if a mother became overwhelmed with the care of an infant, there were grandparents, cousins or siblings who could step in and give her a break.

Older children learned from the daily examples of their parents as they cared for infants in the family and they participated in the process. Consequently, by the time they had children of their own they were not ignorant about child care.

But that was long ago: society today, especially in the West, is very different. Families live hundreds, even thousands of miles from the support of relatives. Often they live somewhat isolated lives even among neighbors. Families have fewer children, and it is no longer unusual for a child to have no siblings at all. As a result, an increasing number of adults have had very little daily personal experience in providing for the needs of young children. It should not surprise us then that by the time these adults are parents they are relatively ignorant about child care, and the results can be heartrending.

Jane hadn’t intended to return to work so soon after their new baby was born, but her husband's business was booming and Mark needed her help. Concerned about the quality of daycare, they decided to hire a cousin to care for the baby during the day. What Jane and Mark didn’t know was that the cousin had also obtained a job. For more than a year—the first year of the baby’s life—the cousin left the baby daily on its own, feeding and changing him in the morning after Jane and Mark left, again at her midday lunch break, and finally just before the parents returned.

Although Jane began to notice that the baby’s development seemed unusually slow, the pediatrician felt it was not excessively so, and Jane was inexperienced enough to be reassured by the fact that her baby never cried.

Then the inevitable happened. Jane came home unexpectedly one day to find the house dark. When she found her son sitting alone in his crib with a soiled diaper and no one caring for him, she fired the cousin and heaved a sigh of relief that all had ended well—the house had not burned down; he hadn’t choked on anything—she was sure her son would be fine. He wasn’t. As the boy grew, no one connected the odd rocking behavior he exhibited under stress or his stunted social development and depression with the neglect he’d endured in his first 18 months of life.

Finally, when their son was 14, Mark and Jane took him to see Dr. Bruce Perry for the first time. Perry is an experienced child psychiatrist with an impressive background. During his career he has served as chief of psychiatry at Texas Children’s Hospital, vice-chairman for Psychiatric Research at Baylor College of Medicine, and a consultant to the FBI. He has treated children subjected to incredible traumas and extensive neglect.

Page 1 of 3 :: First | Last :: Prev | 1 2 3 | Next