Most of us have many dreams about what relationships will be like or should be like. We’ve lived with these dreams forever, so when the real thing happens, and we find ourselves in a relationship reality can be quite a shock. Some people feel tricked, trapped or like failures. Others do everything under the sun to change their partner, change themselves, or figure out why their marriage is different from the way they thought it would be.

The first step in truly understanding relationships, however, is to realize that what we dream about or imagine, is not necessarily what is going to happen to us. And that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with ourselves or our relationship. It just means that we didn’t know what to truly expect.

Today, I am going to provide you with some free relationship advice in the form of six facts that no one ever told you about relationships that is important for you to understand. These principles a have provided marriage help by helping others discover that your relationship can heal naturally when certain core issues are understood.

Number 1) Relationships are not static.

They can, will and must change. No two people stay the same during the course of a life time. Their needs, wishes, and interests vary. It is unreasonable to expect that relationship partners will always grow and change in the same ways, at the same time. This has to be accepted and included in the relationship. It is not necessary for the two of you to always think the same way, like the same things, or be in the same place at the same time. Just because you may have different tastes or interests doesn’t mean that the two of you aren’t in love. For relationships to remain vital and healthy it is necessary to have a core of mutual interests, activities and desires, but, it is also crucial to make room for differences between you. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are growing apart. It may just mean that you are growing, and will have even more love and understanding to bring to your partner in the long run.

Number 2) Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane.

Many people expect to feel "in love" with their partner on a daily basis. By this they mean having romantic feelings of excitement and infatuation, feeling as though they can’t wait to see the person, and miss them if they’re gone. These individuals must learn the crucial difference between loving a partner and being "in love". Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane. There are times they appear and are very enjoyable -other times they fade into the background. This does not mean something is wrong or that you do not love each other. Love is not based upon fluctuating feelings, but upon a solid foundation of mutual respect, consideration and communication. Although it is wonderful and important to set aside time for romantic time together, the daily on-goingness of life requires a much deeper understanding of what it means to truly love. Love is often tested in the fire, and frequently sacrifice is needed. In order to truly love, one must grow as a person, and that is what relationships are for – to help us grow in our ability to discover what love really is..

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