The Mind is a wonderful tool for observation, conceptualization, processing information and in short - thinking. However, when the tool becomes the Master, stress is inevitable.

Like a computer, your Mind holds lots of data. It also has a program to organize that data. Each mind programs the input it receives through unique perceptions and interpretations developed in early childhood. This childhood template is your mind's operating system until you choose to change it.

De-stressing involves becoming aware of and updating these childhood beliefs.

Two core sets of beliefs - Who you think you are (self-concept) and Who you think you 'should' be (self-ideal) evolve from what we hear, see and experience as children. You do not knowingly choose these self-images, which become the foundation for Self-Esteem, your value for yourself and Self-Determination, your percieved power to make free choices. Failing to achieve this unrealistic self-ideal is inevitable and believing you have limited power to choose freely, creates DISTRESS.

The basic categories of response to distress are fight or flight.

Is your tendency to run, hide, and internalize stress in isolation, passivity or depression; or, to lash out, attack and externalize stress in aggression, domination, or anxiety? Either way, the core issues and solutions are the same.

The tips that follow are simple, logical and doable. Implementation may be challenging though. There are suggested resources, to support you in using these tips at the end of this article.

Tip # 1 ~ Sort

The key to mental de-stressing is to recognize the areas of life in which you do or do not have control. Before you read on, get a piece of paper and pencil. Take note of the thoughts that arise as I explain this simple sorting technique. These notes will be important when we get to Tip # 3. You cannot control what is outside yourself. You have TOTAL control of everything inside yourself. This does not seem earth shattering until you look at daily reactions.

If you are like most people, you blame everything outside of you for your stress, and direct most of your precious time and energy into fruitless efforts to control the uncontrollable. A short list of uncontrollables includes: * Time - Not enough, what happened in the past, worry about the future. * Nature - illness, aging, death, weather. * Other People - what they think, feel, say, do.

You reduce your stress when you put your time and energy into the one area where it will pay off, where you have total control and power to direct your life - in YOU - In knowing how you think and feel, and making choices about what is important to you.

Why it works ~

Sorting what you can and cannot control helps you see clearly where to place your attention. Although the conditioned mind (ego) does not accept change easily, it does like structure. When you provide a new way to sort thinking that makes logical sense, the mind is more willing to consider it.

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