The term "life after divorce" is often viewed as an oxymoron by those who are experiencing the situation firsthand. It is incredibly easy to say that life does go on, and that things will get better, especially when it isn't actually happening to you. However, unbelievable as it may seem right now, there really can be life after divorce, but only if you choose to live one.

In fixating on things you cannot change, you are allowing others to manipulate your emotions and thoughts. You are ultimately in control of the way you react to obstacles in life. You aren't doing yourself any favors by obsessing over the past or putting all your hopes into a distant future. Live for the now, and do what's right for yourself.

Your bank accounts have all been changed. You've found a new place to live. So now what? A huge pat of yourself and your identity has been wrapped up in being someone else's significant other. Now that you're on your own, who and what are you supposed to be? Many newly divorced people feel this sense of loss of self at first.

This all too common trap keeps people in a perpetual state of not being able to move forward or get on with their life. Losing one's sense of identity is perhaps one of the worst things in terms of self-esteem issues, personal growth and development, and also for overcoming the devastation that often accompanies divorce.

Some people find counseling or therapy very beneficial in picking up the pieces after a divorce. Whether you choose to seek counseling or not, you'll benefit from the bit of advice most often dispensed by therapist-start fresh with a new hobby, a new group activity, a new talent. Immerse yourself in new experiences and you'll be much less likely to become mired in the past. Take some time rediscover who you are and what you're good at.

Thanks to the internet, the dating world is definitely a whole lot smaller than it ever was before. Online websites, forums, and chat rooms enable people to connect with one another from across the globe. Countless happy unions found their start on the internet, and many people find it far easier to be themselves without the physical aspect of a relationship getting in the way and complimenting things too soon. This is especially important for the newly divorced as jumping into one serious relationship after just coming out of another is more than likely setting one's self up for certain failure.

You might try a group dedicated solely to divorced parents, where both parents and adults can partake in fun activities with each other or just mingle and hang out. This can help children to cope with their parents' divorce as they meet other children who understand what they're experiencing. Or check out a singles event at a local library, book store, bar, or social hall.

The most crucial part of being happy again after a divorce is to remember not to look to someone else to replace another person or become the sole source of fulfillment or direction in life. You are the only one who can ultimately provide you with that.