Q. How do I choose a lawyer to handle my case?

A: Here are a few of the most important questions to ask a potential attorney before hiring them to take on your divorce case:

--What law school did you attend?

--Are you familiar with my soon to be ex-spouse and his or her lawyer?

- How many divorce cases have you handled thus far, and how many went to trial?

- What type of cases have you handled, in terms of things such as custody disputes, or financial settlements?

--Do you have any other time-consuming cases coming up, or will this case be one of your main priorities?

--Will you personally deal with all aspects of my case, or will also have an associate on the case? If so, when will I be able to meet with them, and what level of related experience do they possess?

--What are your fees, hourly billing rates, expected method of payment? Do you charge a retainer and if so, how much?

--What are your regular hours and what is the best time for me to contact you?

Q. Divorce mediators: What are they and should I hire one?

A. A divorce mediator acts as a neutral party in explaining applicable local divorce laws to both spouses and helps spouses resolve arguments over child custody and separation of assets sans litigation in the courtroom. A mediator is usually a lawyer or a counselor.

Q. How do I tell my children?

A: Honestly is always the best policy to follow when trying to broach the subject of a coming divorce. Of course this doesn't mean getting into all of the intimate details, but rather simply explaining the situation gently to the children. If they are older, most children will be aware of the unhappiness in the marriage, particularly if the adults have made it a habit of arguing within earshot, but other children are completely taken aback by this type of announcement and will need plenty of patience and understanding to get through this delicate time.

Children will benefit from continual reassurance that they are not at all to blame for any of their parents disagreements and that both their parents still love them and want to be there for them.

Q. What happens after the divorce?

A. Nobody deals with their new life after the finalization of a divorce in the same way. It depends on that person's personality and mindset as well as the circumstances of and their role in the divorce. Reactions can range from depression to anger to a great sense of relief.

Try to make a new start of life as much as possible, meeting new people, trying new things, pursuing new interests. Keep in mind that every experience in life has the potential to lead to increased wisdom and strength.

Remember that in life, every experience can be an opportunity to grow wiser and stronger.