What makes some marriages fail while others succeed? With fifty years behind ours, we know we have some of the answers.

A lasting marriage, especially a long one is as possible today as it was fifty years ago. I believe it because Irma and I will be married fifty years on April 7th. 2008. What does it take to make a marriage last for 50 years?

Hello again. We are Joe and Irma Mac Millan. We introduced ourselves and our family on the page "About us" on our website. There we related how we met and fell in love, married and were blessed with four wonderful daughters.

Since we wrote that outline, we have had very positive comments from our visitors. Discussing these, we realized that we have something almost unique, a very long lasting marriage. We decided to write this page as a follow up. Not as a guide or a lecture, but what we did to enjoy our love for each other for so long.

First we want to make it known to you that you probably will have a tougher battle to keep your marriage together than we ever faced. We didn’t have the lack of respect children appear to have today. Respect for parents, the law and any kind of authority. Why this is so we will not go there. We only know it is a huge problem today and one that can drive parents to distraction making a lasting marriage tougher to attain.

We want this to be an insight into our fifty years together. What worked for us, and what didn’t. This is how I have seen what has made our marriage work. Irma has her own views and wishes to keep them private as that is the way she is. All I know is that what I tell here must have worked for us.

Recently we were in a nearby park enjoying our daily walk. It was a beautiful fall morning. A heavy frost overnight had caused the ice to form on the lake and a large flock of Canada Geese had arrived. It was comical as they skidded into each other for they couldn’t stop as they usually do in water. We laughed heartily at the crack-up reminded us of the first snows of winter and the accidents that happen on the super highway nearby.

We have always held hands as we walked. We’ve done it for years. A couple of young ladies, probably in their early forties approached. We noticed them say something between themselves. When they got within a few feet from us, one spoke and said "we want what you two have" as they passed by.

We have often noticed that couples rarely hold hands in public. Why do we do it? I for one noticed that holding hands makes you feel united. I don’t even like holding hands while wearing gloves in the winter. It’s not the same. We have held hands for so long we can’t remember when we started. Canadians are quite conservative in most things they do. Holding hands may appear to be old fashioned. Doesn’t matter to us.

Marriage isn’t a fifty-fifty deal. It’s really a 100-100 deal. Each partner must put 100% into making it work. What I have discovered is that of the 200% total this represents, the woman will put in 150% and the man 50%. What I’m talking about is the work that is done at home.

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