Relationships. Why do they change? So often we find ourselves struggling to maintain a long-term relationship that somehow doesn't feel as good as it used to. Our sense of history and loyalty motivate us to do whatever we can to keep that relationship alive. How do we know when it is time to move on?

Like everything else in life, nothing remains static, everything changes. According to quantum physics, the universe and everything in it is in a constant state of flux. When we examine an atom up close, we can see tremendous movement. If the universe is in a constant state of flux, it is only natural that we, as part of this universe, are also constantly changing. We all change and grow over the years.

Think about yourself. Who you are as a human being is undoubtedly different from who you were twenty, thirty years ago. Life's experiences change how we view the world and how we think. We grow. We evolve. We change. We acquire wisdom over the years. We find that new and different things hold meaning for us.

For instance, as a woman in her twenties, my priorities were totally different from the woman I am today. Now I have children and that experience alone has dramatically changed the way that I look at the world. Back then, I was much more self-involved then I am now. I worked in media in New York City for nearly twenty years and believe me, that experience had a tremendous impact on my thinking.

I have a dear friend that I have known for over twenty years. Her life and mine took very different paths. I worked, got married, had kids, retired and am now working again. She has led a single life with a very exciting international career. Somehow we have managed to maintain that friendship because at our cores we still hold the same deep values and passion that overshadow the surface differences.

But there have been other relationships that have not fared as well. I had to accept that they no longer worked and let them go. Sometimes the length of a friendship cannot accommodate the people we have become. Our values, the things that we hold precious, no longer jibe. How we interact doesn't work anymore. With age, we learn to say no to things that we accommodated in the past. We realize that what we say no to defines us. We find that we have come to a place in our lives where what we value dictates what we accept in our lives.

I remember when I was younger it seemed to me that if a relationship went south, I was to blame; obviously it was something that I did. Not so anymore. There is no guilt. There is just what is.

If there is turmoil in a relationship, I know that I must first and foremost stop and determine if there is anything whatsoever that I might have done to contribute to that turmoil. Perhaps I said something that could have been misinterpreted by the other person. If I am totally honest with myself and identify where I could have done something differently, then there is a good chance that I can fix things.

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