The week or so before the holidays was hell on wheels at my house. The task of raising two teenagers as a single Mom and all its attendant responsibilities creates a good deal of tension within our four walls. Any parent of a teen will understand. Too often I get the feeling that my life with them is nothing but nagging, cajoling and getting them to do the things they need to do to be responsible adults, not to mention making it through their days with everything handled. A blowup with my son over infractions against house rules caused him to say he wanted to move out. How to get back in touch?

Time with their Dad is more fun and games. He is active in their lives and adores his kids but truth be told, it is Mom who has the day-to-day responsibility of their lives. As a divorced Mom, I am the housekeeper, the chauffeur, the computer consultant, the cook, the laundress, the working Mom, the secretary, the caregiver, the tutor and the disciplinarian just to mention some of the hats I wear on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like the invisible third wheel. I rarely have the chance to just enjoy them. So I made a decision.

Over the December holidays I planned a trip to Costa Rica. Now teenagers do not like to go on vacation with their parents. They want to take a friend along because God forbid they have to spend too much time with you! But traveling to Costa Rica with friends was not in the budget or the game plan. I wanted us together with no distractions: no chores or errands or homework or computers or television. Just downtime together. Plus adventure. No fancy resorts like Atlantis for this Madre.

The magic began the minute we left. I think to my kid’s credit, they knew that the trip meant a great deal to me so they were on their best behavior. Our first day in Costa Rica was sightseeing in the capital of San Jose. That evening we had dinner at an upscale restaurant at our hotel. The three of us dined, really dined, for about two hours. We talked, laughed and ate a fantastic dinner. It was sheer joy for someone who had felt like Commandant Klink for too long.

Towards the end of the dinner, my thirteen-year-old daughter climbed into my lap to snuggle. After about ten minutes she moved into her seventeen year old brother’s lap and he actually permitted her the opportunity! Enough to bring tears to my eyes. Remember, this is a teenage boy. Demonstrative attention in public from a Mother or a little sister is basically verboten. Miracles were already happening and we had just arrived.

The only responsibility I had (outside of their safety) on this trip was to enjoy my kids, period. I had arranged through a phenomenal tour company based in Costa Rica to have all our needs met beforehand. I didn’t have to worry about transportation. Drivers met us at the airports and took us to our hotels. Guides were on hand without my having to call anyone to take us around to all the sites and give us in detail information about our various outings. Our days were all pre-planned and chocked full of adventure. We even had a guide who traveled with us for four days. There was very little to divert my attention from Jake and Sylvie.

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