In other cases, women don't feel they "deserve" a good man. They keep subjecting themselves to men who need help because not only does trying to help them feed their own needs, but because they believe they're not worthy of anything better.

These women, too, must address the problems within themselves. So what do you do if you realize the relationship you're in is one of these fixer-uppers? Do you stay or go?

First you need to accept that you are NOT going to be able to fix him. Your case will not be the exception to the rule. No one can make anyone else change unless that person wants to change. It has to come from within.

Now, once you're accepted that, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to get rid of the guy; it just means you have to stop trying to fix him. It may be that the man you chose as a fixer-upper is actually OK as he is, warts and all.

Sometimes the men that women try to "fix" are fine the way they are; women just want to make them better. Maybe your "project" falls under this category. If so, let him be. He'll be pleasantly surprised that you've stopped working on him, and the relationship will be better for it. But maybe he's not that type. Maybe he really does need rescuing -- from drugs, from immaturity, from irresponsibility, from alcohol, from something else.

In that case, the only sensible thing is to cut him loose. You can't take it upon yourself to save people. It doesn't make you a bad person to leave him. You have to see to your own happiness first, and being with a miserable character has never made anyone anything but miserable.

Page 2 of 2 :: First | Last :: Prev | 1 2 | Next